this post was submitted on 28 May 2026
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Yeah, I'm in my very early 40's now and after being really skinny for all my life, I'm suddenly getting a beer belly
Having some emotional hardships in the last 2 years didn't help with that either.
So, my first step will be to stop drinking and smoking daily, and start to do some sport, with surfing on holidays being the motivation.
But every time, I'm getting back from a (usually demanding) business trip, I can't do anything, but lay flat.
Like many times, I'm now suffering with a fever and some sinusitis since a week as I got back home.
Every fucking time, I've build up some physical condition, I'm getting sick with something and seemingly lose everything I've won.
This is really frustrating and I'm not sure, how I can break that cycle.
Obviously food (besides stopping to drink and smoke) has a major impact.
But as my wife is a vegetarian, everything I'm cooking is usually vegetarian and healthy already.
On business trips though, they aren't those romantic business trips with good food, wine and just networking.
I'm working in industry warehouses and all the restaurants around are usually rather shit.
I usually don't have lunch, as it makes me too tired in the afternoon. So I tried to have something like Soylent (in my case, I stuck with Plenny + milk and fresh fruits instead of just water) and that felt better.
But it gets quite boring after a few months.
I think, finding a goal, like being able to surf and not just die breathless on the board, is the way to go for me.
But every time, I start for such a regime, I'm getting sick and it feels like everything was for nothing, because all the condition I've build up is seemingly lost again...
Would be very much open for suggestions, because I can't really find a way out, but I have to.
I'm getting more and more unhappy with myself.
It sounds like you could be pushing yourself too hard and too often. I find that typically happens when I've trained hard for about 2 months without a proper deload period, where you continue to workout but reduce the effort by like 75%. Recovery is extremely important.
Diet can have a huge impact on your recovery and fatigue levels. You might be lacking in the nutrition area so its probably worth having a consult with a Dietician - not a nutritionist.
Also water, it can actually help with energy levels if you drink the correct amount of water that your body needs.
Stick with it mate, your body with adapt in time. Just take it easy on yourself and give yourself small goals that you can achieve without specific timelimits. Goals like, I'll go to the gym twice this week or I'll get to bed by 8pm etc etc - nothing huge but its more behavioural goals rather than saying I'm going to squat twice my bodyweight in 2 months or something.
Thank you!
Yeah, when we go surfing - the 1-2 weeks a year, when we're able to travel - I'm really over doing myself.
I find it really hard to recover the older I get.
When I was younger, I had sore muscles as well, but a day going slower was usually enough.
Now I don't think, I'm pushing myself, but the soreness builds up and I need days to recover.
And I can't enjoy the sort in my holiday.
This year, we plan to go in September.
So I'll start training up with some back, hip and shoulder exercises, which I need for my back anyway.
And then start to add up step by step.
Hopefully that works out better :-)
Diet-wise, I just need to get rid of the booze.
I really like my beer, but I think, the party's over now...
Edit: Apologies for the novel, might've gotten a bit carried away.
I dunno your lifestyle around alcohol, but if you really enjoy your beer for the beer of it all (and it's not a problematic habit/drinking purely for effect), moderation and mindful nursing might be the move. Take the stuff below if it makes sense when being radically honest with yourself, toss it out the window entirely if it doesn't.
Set one night a week (or longer interval) as beer night. Pay attention to what us other substance freaks call set and setting - go into it in an already good mood, in a space and set of circumstances that are arranged to be pleasing (for me, that's out at a place I enjoy, preferably with something I like going on [live music, etc.]). If the set or setting (or, to quote Gen Z, the 'vibes') are off, do it some other time.
If the vibes are right, order/get one really, really good beer and a water. Your goal is to make that beer last at least an hour - you can have as much water as you want. So obviously, you should pick a beer that doesn't taste like ass as it comes to room temp.
Take each sip very slowly - sniff it before you sip, let the beer sit on your tongue a bit, with a breath through the nose during, and sit with the finish after you sip for a little. Keep the ratio of beer sips to water sips at like 1 for every 4 or 5. Just make a mental note of stuff like the flavour, texture, finish as you're drinking. Make note of any changes to those over the interval.
Once the beer is finished, have something else (preferably lower sugar - soda water with a little bitters and lime, hop water with a hop profile you enjoy, whatever you'd like from what's available. If out, ask the bartender for a suggestion, some like the challenge but be mindful of how busy it is). You don't need to make that last an hour, but try to enjoy it slowly. Once that's finished, decide if you want one more beer, and if so repeat the process. End at max two beers, though you can close the tab (if your ideal setting is out at some place) on a not-beer-not-water drink if you want to stretch out your time in the atmosphere.
Life's short, and filled with both horrors and moments of bliss. Little pleasures can enrich your time here, so long as you're careful not to let their fingers wrap around your neck and become vices. Just have to approach them carefully with an eye to your larger goals and ideals.
Or, if you look at this and think "Naw dawg, if I tried this it'll end in chugging multiple beers", ok, let the beer go. There's myriad other little pleasures you can integrate into your life, many of which are healthier anyway.
Edit edit: if you take the approach above and your ideal setting is out at some place, I usually follow a $1 per drink tip rule, and that calculation includes the water. It ingratiates you to the bar staff who might otherwise be peeved you sat there for two-three hours. I call it vibe insurance, lol.
Thanks for that thought-out input :-)
I'm having my fair share of substance experience as well and I don't plan to go for a completely sober life.
But, have practically the same idea you proposed.
I wanna get rid of useless stress drinking and smoking, and get back to a hedonistic approach, that doesn't senselessly kills me.
For example with tobacco, I want to have a set of plants myself, so I can experiment with mixing different kinds and fermentation methods. And that would be the tobacco I can use for the year.
That would be fun, self limiting and I guess, I would appreciate the smoke much more.
For alcohol, I'm currently doing it step by step, like with opiates.
For now I got rid of the hard stuff and we started shopping for alcohol free beer - there are at least 2 ok to good ones around here.
So, I'd drink a "real" beer at night, but then don't drink on and empty the bag, but switch to the alcohol free ones.
That works usually quite well, but as with everything, there are some days with a fallback.
But that's ok, I want to be drunk from time to time.
And yes, making myself something like a treat calendar is pretty much the next step :-)
Thanks, seems we're not too different ;-)
You've got the right attitude - its an investment in yourself that your future self with benefit from. Good luck on your journey.
Thank you :-)
I've already build up enough anger about myself in the last year (read: motivation for change), but due to tragic events in my family and often being sick always killed anything in the roots.
I've just written my wife, that I want to get rid of our "storage room", which is just an excuse to hoard trash anyway, and make something reasonable out of it
I'm thinking a mix of book shelfs, a reading corner and the rest would be a place for a gym.
Should work out space-wise.
And getting rid of all the shit we hide behind the door is a win it itself.
So, I guess, I have a summer project ;-)
I don't know if it's at all possible for you and depends on where you live and work, but I try to integrate "little sports" in my daily life. I try to cycle and walk to places as much as possible, instead of bus or tram. Try to use staircases instead of elevators. Etc. It can be small things, but easier to keep up than a real sporty regime.
Yeah, that's a good thing!
By bike I'm much faster at the warehouse with by test station and during summer I do that.
Only in winter and with rain, I use the car.
And you're right, that already seems to make a difference.
Regarding your hint with the stairs:
Doing that already.
In hotels I'm using the stairs to train myself a bit and at home in only in the first floor (well, 1,5 because if the entrance stairs to the house)
It sounds childish, but since if got a SmartWatch, it motivates me, that I can see the daily/weekly statistics of how many stairs I took.
Gamification really seems to work ;-)
If gamification works for you, maybe give walkscape.app a chance. Looks cool, but my phone was too crappy
That's nice of you, but walking isn't a problem
I'm often doing 18000 steps and more at work
It's more about doing real training exercises over a longer period of time
You're aware of all the changes you need to make, or at least you have a strong intuition. All of my lasting adaptations have been built on tiny increments gained over time, and only from a place of love. Be kind to yourself. Also, if you're not already looking at it, strongly consider your sleep hygiene. Good, consistent sleep is the base of the pyramid. No lasting change, especially when it comes to one's physical condition, can be sustained if your sleep is shit.
Thanks for the kind words :-)
Sleep is probably an issue as well, yes ...
I'm often on business trips and my work schedule isn't set in stone.
If a customer needs help, I'll be up at night.
On business trips, I don't have any free day and work through - and with often changed times, as I can't change anything during production, but can only monitor.
So I need to do the changes at night and if I change anything on the weekend, I need to be there at Monday morning (5-6) to monitor the production start.
I think, changing the stuff I do in my free time, could help me to handle this work life better.
I'll start with little things now, as soon as I've got finally rid of this fucking flu...