this post was submitted on 28 May 2026
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Mid-forties are a decision point. It's when you decide to either get healthy, and stay healthy the rest of your life, or... you don't.
Your body starts falling apart faster if you don't maintain it. Unlike the years before, the health losses are forever.
Fair warning.
massively reduced alcohol consumption in my late forties, dropped 20Kg. significantly better for it going into my 50s. probably could do more exercise but I'm 80kg with 32" waist. I'm happy in my body now. π― decision time. I've seen friends who made the choice and those who didn't and the difference is stark. one is dead and I didn't think that would start happening to me in my 50s.. RIP Paul
There's a corollary here that I don't see anyone talking about. If you set a good plan to maintain your body fitness from say your mid 30s on, one day you'll be doing that same reasonable workout routine and then you hurt yourself because its too much. Yesterday it was fine, the prior 15 years it had been fine, but now its not, and you have an injury you need 3 to 6 months to recover from. You think its a fluke and, once healed, you go back to your fitness routine and you injury yourself in a different way. Another 3 to 6 months of recovery.
There appears to be a need to modify or abandon parts of your fitness routine as you get older, but there's no guidebook on what to stop doing and when, nor what to be doing instead.
I feel like this is like tech debt, it's usually a result of neglect in other areas that are easy to dismiss or overlook. Stretching, foam rolling, staying on top of rest and recovery, avoiding ego lifting, etc. I think you can definitely course correct but it gets harder to do so the further you stray.
My guess is as you get older, those support muscles that help keep everything in place also need work. Also, bad form habits are more likely to rear their head as time goes on.
So the people who didn't perfect their form, the ones who use tricks to lift what they do (like a curl you can only complete if you start out my building up momentum on the lower part to get through the upper part), the ones who only work their major muscles, those are most likely to get hurt.
Though there's also wear and tear on your non-muscle infra, like your bones, joints, tendons, and cartilege. If you keep pushing for heavier weights, you put more and more strain on those. They can improve somewhat with training but they aren't like muscles where straining them to the point of failure and tearing encourages the body to build more and age doesn't help there either, especially if you develop arthritis or something that further weakens that support infra.
Starting to lift was the best decision I ever made at 40
Same but cycling. Stumbling into a workout that I look forward to was game changing.
That is me with running. I feel like I could do a zone two run forever. Just such a refreshing activity.
Your knees still allowed that at 40?
I ran. It took me a while, but I started to enjoy it. Then my achilles tendon and knee started to hurt and I stopped for a short while until it would get better.
That was over a year ago and I still can't walk properly when getting out of bed. Friend said I need to lose weight to be able to run again. Well, yeah, how the fuck is that supposed to happen then?
Gotta work on that diet. Best way to lose weight.
Unless you're already eating the perfect diet, then I have no idea. I suppose it would be time for a doctor at that point.
I would argue it's the only way. Can't outrun the fork.
Do some resistance training to restrengthen your legs, and start building stamina through cycling (standing or outdoor). Cycling is great because it's possible to go from extremely low intensity (barely faster than walking pace) to vomit intensity with no change in impact.
I can only stay in zone 2 for a few minutes, but it's amazing. Then it's zone 3, which is fine... but within a mile of starting, it's above that and I have to walk, let it drop and then start off again. I wish I could keep it in zone 2 or even 3.
I've been running for 12 years, 3-5x a week 3-5km a time and am not overweight... when does it get better/easier? I'm starting to think it's just not for me, even though I enjoy it.
Seriously! I have the best physique I've ever had and look five years younger. It costs me three hours a week and a little effort.
Care to share your workout regime?
I have a real problem of keeping it up for more than 2 weeks...
3 hours a week sounds manageable though
Not who you asked but I think the absolute best bang for your buck would be a simple barbell program. 531 for Beginners you could run this program for a year and It will completely change your physique. To make a dead simple I would install the boostcamp app and use it to track your sets/reps/progress, it has instructions for the exercises which are easy to learn
Thank you very much for the input
I've never seen myself much as a weight pusher.
I do have some weights somewhere, but I always was a proponent of just using your body weight.
And although a part of the motivation comes from looking good naked again, it's not so much about that - and that's what I've always associated with weight lifting.
But I'll look into it.
Trying something new is always additional motivation anyway and my prejudice here is very probably wrong anyway.
So thanks for that, will read into it :β -β )
No worries I'm always happy to help someone get started. I have always been skinny 165lb runner and cyclist. But I wanted to try lifting a barbell and a few years later I'm sitting at 220lbs with a powerlifting gym in my basement feeling better than I did in my 20s.
In this thread already some people mention weight lifting as being helpful
So, I'll look into it
But I don't really want to build up mass.
I always liked being skinny, but defined and with strength/endurance.
I want the body to be able to do what I like.
So, going skiing or surfing and everything else.
I always find those mountains of muscles some bodybuilders move around strange, because they don't seem to be really functional for sport and reduce the ability to move, when they get extreme.
I'm thinking of getting back into fighting sports.
Did Hapkido for some time in my 20s and really liked it. But my joints are aching by just holding the phone to long.
So doing some painful levering on them during training doesn't sound so wise...
I'm currently trying to get them better with some elastic band exercises and try to build up on that, by extending the movement to also include the shoulders.
But obviously, this is more of a health exercise, than a real sport thing
Ah yeah maybe I should've clarified a bit I'm not talking about bodybuilding I'm talking about strength training which is way more functional. It's not easy to get bulbous, it certainly won't happen by accident. Was able to do a 120km bike ride last summer through the mountains, big hikes, etc no trouble. But when it's time to lift something heavy jaws drop hah. Judo partners are like "Shit" Everybody could use a few extra pounds of muscle
That sounds good
With weights, I'm always a bit afraid to do something wrong and actually hurt myself long term
Do you have any resources on hand, where I can read/watch how to do it right?
Or do I need to go to the gym with a trainer?
Which will be quite a time suck and I just really prefer to do such things on my own...
Which is maybe stupid, but well, maybe I'm stupid
I learned it all without a trainer and did it with a squat rack in my basement, eventually upgrading to a power rack. There are essentially only three main compound lifts that you need to learn and they pretty simple. Jeff Nippard has technique videos on youtube for every lift you need - Squat, bench and deadlift. He also shows variations that may work better for you and feel safer. For me I do a Romanian deadlift and front squats to protect my back.
First off, thank you very much again
As a second, sorry, you already gave me a link
By now so many people answered, that I've lost the overview...
I've bookmarked your link and saved your comment and will lookup Jeff Nippard.
Such videos are usually very helpful.
As already mentioned in another comment, I plan now to finally get rid of the "storage room" in our apartment and do something reasonable with it.
I'll need to talk with the wife about the details, but read thinking about a mix of gym and reading room.
So, fuck the my flu (hopefully soon) and I'll have a summer project, that actually helps me in the future :β -β )
Thank you very much for your input.
That was really motivating and I really want to go for this now :β -β )
Maybe with some adaptions to my personal preferences, but the spark is here now.
So, again, thank you very much for that!
I researched the shit out of various programs and you'll quickly learn there's a lot of advice, opinion, and lore in the world of lifting. What I concluded was that all I needed were dumbbells, a barbell (optional), access to a leg press, lat pulldown, and a seated row machines. All staples at any gym. For a home gym you can replace most of these machines with dumbbell alternates.
The last two work muscles you just can't access as efficiently with free weights.
I started with whatever felt easy enough. My beginner dumbbell press weight was 20lbs, dumbbell fly was 5lbs, as examples.
I usually do these in 3 sets of 8 repetitions taking a one minute break between sets.
Monday β Legs + Abs
Squat (Quads/Glutes) 45+10 Weighted Lunges (Quads) 30+0 Weighted Hip Thrust (Glutes) 60+10 Leg Press (115+10) Declined Overhead Weighted Sit-up (Abs) 10+15 Standing Calf Raises (Calves) 135+25 Dumbbell Romanian Deadlift (Hamstrings/Glutes) 35+5
Wednesday β Push (Chest/Shoulders/Triceps + Abs)
Dumbbell Bench Press (Chest) 45-5 Dumbbell Overhead Press (Shoulders) 25-5 Dumbbell Fly 20-5 Dumbbell Lateral Raise (Shoulders) 15-5 Hanging Leg/Knee Raise (Abs) body weight Incline Dumbbell Press (Chest) 40-5 Dumbbell Overhead Triceps Extension (Triceps) 40-5
Friday β Pull (Back/Biceps)
Lat Pulldown (Back) 100-15 Seated Row (Back) 100-15 Hanging Leg/Knee Raise (Abs) body weight Dumbbell Curl (Biceps) 30-5 Dumbbell Bent Over Row (Back) 45-5 Dumbbell Romanian Deadlift (Hamstrings/Glutes) 45-5 Hammer Curl (Biceps/Forearms) 25-5
If I didn't know what an exercise was, I looked it up here.
https://fitbod.me/exercises/dumbbells
The numbers are the weight I will attempt first. The +/- means if too easy, add the weight on the third set. If too hard, remove the weight after attempting the new weight.
I try to always hit failure. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I only get five reps.
I don't like all the silly programs 5/3/1 Faster, Stronger, Harder, or what not. I do these and occasionally try new lifts. That's it.
You can do 2 sets of 6 reps at higher weights and get similar results as long as you hit failure, get enough protein, and sleep at least six hours.
Thank you very much!
Saved your comment and will probably build up some kind of similar training for my pre surfing workout, so I don't look like an absolute idiot, who can't even manage to get out to the waves ;β -β )
You're (at least?) the second one recommending weight lifting and barbells.
So I guess, there is something to it
Will need to make some room in the apartment for it, as I'm not the biggest fan of going to the gym
Until it broke, I had such a thing to do pull ups at the door frame
Which was great to get rid of stress.
So I just did some pull ups during work, when I needed to get rid of the adrenaline - else I'll just end completely tensed up in the evening
We have a room full of stuff we don't use and call it our storage room.
It's a waste of space anyway. Maybe I can combine that 2 things and clean out the room, to make a little gym and reading room :β -β )
Oh! Then get a good pair of adjustable dumbbells and a simple adjustable bench. That'll take very little space. Replace that pull-up bar and you're done. You can get the Power Block for about $300.
Just swap out any exercise I stated that needs gym equipment with a similar exercise using dumbbells. Reducing the reps from 3x8 to 2x6 will cut down the workout time significantly and yield almost identical results (if you reach failure.)
When I'm traveling I do this:
3x8 Walking lunges 25 lbs +5 3x8 Dumbbell Rows 25 lbs +5 3x8 Chest Press 25 lbs +0 3x8 Dumbbell Shoulder Press 20 lbs +0 3x8 Dumbbell Biceps Curls 25 lbs +0 3x8 Dumbbell Triceps Extensions 25 lbs +0
For an easy full body workout that only requires dumbbells.
Comment saved again, thank you
Will have quite some research to-do tomorrow, to get all the input of you guys sorted out.
And, as now mentioned multiple times already in this thread, I'll get rid of our fucking "storage room" of mostly trash and make some place for a little gym out of it.
Thank you so much for all your input!
All of you have really motivated me to actually do something about it :β -β )
I really, really wish I could get back into it. I had some severe back injuries and now I have days where I can barely stand. Physical therapy helped a bit, but they have said that some risky (and very expensive) spine surgery is my best bet to get back to semi normal.
What are you looking at, disc replacement?
From what I understand, yes. I am not really onboard with that plan so I am just trying to continue doing what I can of the exercises that my physical therapist gave me and hope that it can alleviate a bit of the pain and periods of immobility.
I just started working out again, after an injury, but I do upper body in useful activities. I've so much heavy work I need to do, it would be wasteful to mindlessly pump iron or whatever.
I'm just doing like crunches and squats, and getting back into distance running, as of yet. Might add some planks and idk what else.
Romanian deadlifts and leg raises have made my once crippled back bulletproof
Yeah, I'm in my very early 40's now and after being really skinny for all my life, I'm suddenly getting a beer belly
Having some emotional hardships in the last 2 years didn't help with that either.
So, my first step will be to stop drinking and smoking daily, and start to do some sport, with surfing on holidays being the motivation.
But every time, I'm getting back from a (usually demanding) business trip, I can't do anything, but lay flat.
Like many times, I'm now suffering with a fever and some sinusitis since a week as I got back home.
Every fucking time, I've build up some physical condition, I'm getting sick with something and seemingly lose everything I've won.
This is really frustrating and I'm not sure, how I can break that cycle.
Obviously food (besides stopping to drink and smoke) has a major impact.
But as my wife is a vegetarian, everything I'm cooking is usually vegetarian and healthy already.
On business trips though, they aren't those romantic business trips with good food, wine and just networking.
I'm working in industry warehouses and all the restaurants around are usually rather shit.
I usually don't have lunch, as it makes me too tired in the afternoon. So I tried to have something like Soylent (in my case, I stuck with Plenny + milk and fresh fruits instead of just water) and that felt better.
But it gets quite boring after a few months.
I think, finding a goal, like being able to surf and not just die breathless on the board, is the way to go for me.
But every time, I start for such a regime, I'm getting sick and it feels like everything was for nothing, because all the condition I've build up is seemingly lost again...
Would be very much open for suggestions, because I can't really find a way out, but I have to.
I'm getting more and more unhappy with myself.
It sounds like you could be pushing yourself too hard and too often. I find that typically happens when I've trained hard for about 2 months without a proper deload period, where you continue to workout but reduce the effort by like 75%. Recovery is extremely important.
Diet can have a huge impact on your recovery and fatigue levels. You might be lacking in the nutrition area so its probably worth having a consult with a Dietician - not a nutritionist.
Also water, it can actually help with energy levels if you drink the correct amount of water that your body needs.
Stick with it mate, your body with adapt in time. Just take it easy on yourself and give yourself small goals that you can achieve without specific timelimits. Goals like, I'll go to the gym twice this week or I'll get to bed by 8pm etc etc - nothing huge but its more behavioural goals rather than saying I'm going to squat twice my bodyweight in 2 months or something.
Thank you!
Yeah, when we go surfing - the 1-2 weeks a year, when we're able to travel - I'm really over doing myself.
I find it really hard to recover the older I get.
When I was younger, I had sore muscles as well, but a day going slower was usually enough.
Now I don't think, I'm pushing myself, but the soreness builds up and I need days to recover.
And I can't enjoy the sort in my holiday.
This year, we plan to go in September.
So I'll start training up with some back, hip and shoulder exercises, which I need for my back anyway.
And then start to add up step by step.
Hopefully that works out better :β -β )
Diet-wise, I just need to get rid of the booze.
I really like my beer, but I think, the party's over now...
Edit: Apologies for the novel, might've gotten a bit carried away.
I dunno your lifestyle around alcohol, but if you really enjoy your beer for the beer of it all (and it's not a problematic habit/drinking purely for effect), moderation and mindful nursing might be the move. Take the stuff below if it makes sense when being radically honest with yourself, toss it out the window entirely if it doesn't.
Set one night a week (or longer interval) as beer night. Pay attention to what us other substance freaks call set and setting - go into it in an already good mood, in a space and set of circumstances that are arranged to be pleasing (for me, that's out at a place I enjoy, preferably with something I like going on [live music, etc.]). If the set or setting (or, to quote Gen Z, the 'vibes') are off, do it some other time.
If the vibes are right, order/get one really, really good beer and a water. Your goal is to make that beer last at least an hour - you can have as much water as you want. So obviously, you should pick a beer that doesn't taste like ass as it comes to room temp.
Take each sip very slowly - sniff it before you sip, let the beer sit on your tongue a bit, with a breath through the nose during, and sit with the finish after you sip for a little. Keep the ratio of beer sips to water sips at like 1 for every 4 or 5. Just make a mental note of stuff like the flavour, texture, finish as you're drinking. Make note of any changes to those over the interval.
Once the beer is finished, have something else (preferably lower sugar - soda water with a little bitters and lime, hop water with a hop profile you enjoy, whatever you'd like from what's available. If out, ask the bartender for a suggestion, some like the challenge but be mindful of how busy it is). You don't need to make that last an hour, but try to enjoy it slowly. Once that's finished, decide if you want one more beer, and if so repeat the process. End at max two beers, though you can close the tab (if your ideal setting is out at some place) on a not-beer-not-water drink if you want to stretch out your time in the atmosphere.
Life's short, and filled with both horrors and moments of bliss. Little pleasures can enrich your time here, so long as you're careful not to let their fingers wrap around your neck and become vices. Just have to approach them carefully with an eye to your larger goals and ideals.
Or, if you look at this and think "Naw dawg, if I tried this it'll end in chugging multiple beers", ok, let the beer go. There's myriad other little pleasures you can integrate into your life, many of which are healthier anyway.
Edit edit: if you take the approach above and your ideal setting is out at some place, I usually follow a $1 per drink tip rule, and that calculation includes the water. It ingratiates you to the bar staff who might otherwise be peeved you sat there for two-three hours. I call it vibe insurance, lol.
Thanks for that thought-out input :β -β )
I'm having my fair share of substance experience as well and I don't plan to go for a completely sober life.
But, have practically the same idea you proposed.
I wanna get rid of useless stress drinking and smoking, and get back to a hedonistic approach, that doesn't senselessly kills me.
For example with tobacco, I want to have a set of plants myself, so I can experiment with mixing different kinds and fermentation methods. And that would be the tobacco I can use for the year.
That would be fun, self limiting and I guess, I would appreciate the smoke much more.
For alcohol, I'm currently doing it step by step, like with opiates.
For now I got rid of the hard stuff and we started shopping for alcohol free beer - there are at least 2 ok to good ones around here.
So, I'd drink a "real" beer at night, but then don't drink on and empty the bag, but switch to the alcohol free ones.
That works usually quite well, but as with everything, there are some days with a fallback.
But that's ok, I want to be drunk from time to time.
And yes, making myself something like a treat calendar is pretty much the next step :β -β )
Thanks, seems we're not too different ;β -β )
You've got the right attitude - its an investment in yourself that your future self with benefit from. Good luck on your journey.
Thank you :β -β )
I've already build up enough anger about myself in the last year (read: motivation for change), but due to tragic events in my family and often being sick always killed anything in the roots.
I've just written my wife, that I want to get rid of our "storage room", which is just an excuse to hoard trash anyway, and make something reasonable out of it
I'm thinking a mix of book shelfs, a reading corner and the rest would be a place for a gym.
Should work out space-wise.
And getting rid of all the shit we hide behind the door is a win it itself.
So, I guess, I have a summer project ;β -β )
I don't know if it's at all possible for you and depends on where you live and work, but I try to integrate "little sports" in my daily life. I try to cycle and walk to places as much as possible, instead of bus or tram. Try to use staircases instead of elevators. Etc. It can be small things, but easier to keep up than a real sporty regime.
You're aware of all the changes you need to make, or at least you have a strong intuition. All of my lasting adaptations have been built on tiny increments gained over time, and only from a place of love. Be kind to yourself. Also, if you're not already looking at it, strongly consider your sleep hygiene. Good, consistent sleep is the base of the pyramid. No lasting change, especially when it comes to one's physical condition, can be sustained if your sleep is shit.
44 is the average age we start to fall apart rapidly, then again at 60. There are periods of rapid deterioration compared to the 50s or 70s.
It's the same thing as a growth spurt in your teens, except tragic and with crunching from the knees.
Yeah, Iβm at that latter age and my knees have been going for a while. However itβs just now that Iβm noticing that by using my knees less Iβm losing muscle fast.
Iβve completed the spending part of lifting weights. Last summer I cleaned out my garage to turn into a gym, then over winter got some equipment. Now I need to assemble. β¦.. then see if I can develop the habit to actually lift
I'm lucky, mine started at 40. And then I had my first kid. Great combo!
Thanks bro. Seriously