this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
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[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 132 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Who was punishing birds for masturbating in the first place? Why!?

[–] meejle@piefed.world 77 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Researchers historically tended to assume birds either did not masturbate or did so only under the stress of captivity ... Accounts from hobbyists revealed that some owners had sought veterinary help when they caught their birds masturbating, fearing the animals might hurt themselves.

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 39 points 1 week ago

This explains all the bird watchers.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I would have just assumed they were preening...

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Tomato, tomato.

[–] Soggy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Pretty big difference between preening and rubbing their cloaca on stuff. Ever had a budgie try and fuck your hand?

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

No, that's never happened to me. Got humped by a lot of dogs as a kid though. I thought they were just hugging me so I was confused when the adults yelled at them...

[–] Solumbran@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

People are HORRIBLE with birds. Even the ones that pretend to love them treat them like trash.

And then there's the fuckers that think that their views of the world matters more than anything else, and will punish masturbation because animals don't feel pleasure so it shouldn't be allowed, will punish them for having gay couples because gay shouldn't exist and especially not in animals (else how can you say your main homophobic argument of "gay is unnatural, only degenerate humans do it"), will starve them for "training" purposes, and don't get me started on the diets, environment safety and cage sizes.

There's a reason why the life expectancy of birds doesn't increase in captivity. People are really, really horrible with birds, and the more I read about people who "care" about birds the worse I feel for their birds.

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Being gay is unnatural, that's why you never saw a gay goat!

Actually, goats are unnatural. But you never saw a gay frog!

Actually, that's Big Pharma making the frogs gay. But you never saw a gay bird!

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Gay isn't something one can see.

[–] Claidheamh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

My browsing history disagrees.

[–] aarch0x40@piefed.social 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I respectfully disagree. I do have this thing installed called “Gaydar”™️ though. Sometimes gets mixed signals if there’s a gay weather balloon near by.

[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

“folk husbandry often advises bird keepers to discourage or punish this behaviour, sometimes even resorting to surgery and hormonal interventions,”

[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 36 points 1 week ago

TIL there's a cottage industry of preventing bird mastrubation