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The same is true the other way round too. Which makes it all the more frustrating that a lot of women think their whole contribution to sex is to lay there and provide a vagina.
Alright, the replies are crazy here. So what do you suggest then?
That (a) everyone educates themselves on how their body and the body of their partner(s) work, (b) that everyone educates themselves on how they can pleasure their partners (and optionally themselves too, why not) and (c) that everyone actively participates and contributes when they are having sex, all of that irrespective of gender or sex.
It's ok to sometimes lay back and enjoy your partner running the show, but if that's the case every single time, then you are doing something wrong.
I meant more like what do men like other than PIV or blowjobs. Just fishing for ideas.
Ah, gotcha.
Think of everything you like being done to you apart from PIV. Chances are that men like that too when you do it to them.
A woman being actually active, showing what she wants, using her hands both to touch her partner, but also to show what she likes (e.g. putting her hand onto his hand while he's doing something she likes and pushing/holding the hand there) is incredibly sexy.
Being touched/stimulated on everything that counts as erogenous zone is nice.
Think of anything that counts as foreplay with women. Chances are men like that too.
To put it differently: Think of having sex, and the only thing your partner does is touch your clit and PIV, no other body contact. There's a lot missing, isn't there?
Communication is really sexy too. If you want something, say so. If you like what's happening, say so.
Show that you are alive, in the moment, and there with your partner, not just waiting for the time to tick away while thinking about laundry. (Even if that's not what you are, that's what your partner might think you are doing if you minimize reactions and participations, and that's decidedly not sexy.)
It's really not so much about that secret magic technique or something, just about really being present, trying to find out what your partner likes, being happy to participate and experiment.
That said, look up "frenulum orgasm" if you want to surprise your partner with a secret magic technique that they themselves might not even know. It's the male equivalent to a clitoral orgasm, and many guys have never heard of it.
Great write up, thank you very much, I will study more.
Some things are harder to achieve in the moment without former practice, and even sexy talk is better trained in calmer settings, but life is messy and... people in general need less work and more time for themselves and each other.
Sex is a skill, and like any skill it takes research and practice.
But I'm sure there aren't many men out there who wouldn't want their partner to practice on them, so go for it!
In the beginning I used to always plan beforehand to have a couple cool things I could do, maybe something to surprise her with or something. And backup plans in case the original idea didn't work out as expected.
After a while it becomes really easy.
And yet you targeted women specifically.
"Targeted". Do you even read what you write? Anyway, you are noise, and boring noise at that. And thus blocked.
What a gross comment.
Yes, certain observations can be uncomfortable but that's not a bad thing. It provides substance, for one, which your comment lacks
First comment: "Conventional sex can be the least exciting part of sex."
Second comment: "Yeah, so many women just lay there and contribute a vagina."
You: "What an insightful comment!"
🤮
No.
First comment: "My 30 seconds just isn’t going to cut it." -> Clearly a man
Second comment: "That’s why you have a mouth and hands, potentially even getting your thigh in there. Honestly, the penis in the vagina is sometimes the least exciting part about sex with that arrangement of genitals." -> Telling a man that PIV is not the only thing to do, but that he should be putting in more effort than just offering a penis
Third comment (my comment): "The same is true the other way round too. Which makes it all the more frustrating that a lot of women think their whole contribution to sex is to lay there and provide a vagina." -> Telling women that PIV is not the only thing to do, but that it would be cool if they too put more effort in than just offering a vagina
Your comment: 🤮
I'm sorry, can we read those back again?
No, that says "there are other ways to have sex than PIV," it does not say "you should be putting in more effort "
Your response to a woman saying "there are other ways to have sex besides PIV" is "it would be cool if women put more effort into sex." You're telling this to the woman who is saying there are other ways to have sex besides PIV. All she said was "you can use your mouth, too!" to the guy making a joke about lasting 30 seconds. Nowhere did she say anything about men at large. Do you think this is some competition between men and women so you had to throw in to say "no actually women are worse?" Do you genuinely not see how what you said in this context was totally uncalled for and sexist?
Not only does he not see it, but the amount of upvotes on his comments reveal yet again the majority opinion on this site and it's disgusting.
Or you're both reading the intended meaning uncharitably and huffing your own farts over your own superiority, which is exhausting and pointless to reply to.
The point was clearly, "It goes both ways." He can use his mouth, too, so can she! Boo lazy men lovers, boo lazy women lovers. Unless that's what you're into!
I wasn’t talking about anyone being a lazy lover.
Acknowledging that there’s different ways to have sex besides using a penis isn’t some crazy statement that needs to be challenged by complaining about women.
I'm honestly surprised by the piling on of downvotes. I thought people here were at least slightly more self aware than reddit, given how LGBTQ inclusive most instances here are, but I was obviously naive.
This is where all the incels went after they were pushed off of Reddit.
Those sentences don't connect, your reading makes no sense. Try this:
first comment: sex isn't just about penetration
second comment: and yet a lot of women seem to think this, given how many just lay there
There’s simply no way this man has slept with enough people to proclaim that most women don’t put in effort during sex.