this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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As someone polyamorous, there's definitely something to this. If I already have one partner, I feel more confident in approaching new potential partners. Knowing somebody already cares about you and supports you can go far.
What I don't understand is the cheater mindset - the idea of going after someone behind your partner's back. Especially these days, where people know about polyamory. If your partner's not into it, then you have to make a choice - do you want to be their one and only? Then stick to that promise. If not, then the honorable thing would be to be honest and accept the break up.
cheaters aren't honorable.
you're presumption is that people are not bad people. lots of people are genuinely bad people, and they are only in relationships to exploit, use, and abuse others. and most cheaters have double-standards, the rules of fidelity only apply to their partner, not themselves.
Based on some people I've talked to, I think a lot of it is an inability to have sincere overt intentions.