this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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I find smoking unattractive.
Hottest thing ever. Tastes and smells revolting. Eventually kills the person, but fuck if my growing up in the 90s brain doesn’t immediately equate smoking with “ooooh mysterious, probably reads a lot of Russian fiction, hot af.”
IMO this isn't a special case. Most smokers don't want to be smokers, they are unable to stop. It's fine that you find smoking unattractive, but telling everyone just makes you a bit of a jerk IMO.
Its wild to me verbalizing turn-ons and turn-offs is considered rude nowadays.
It used to be considered prudent and realistic.
Not wasting my time or their time is polite.
If you don't want to date people who enjoy role play, sure. It's not rude to make people aware of that. Fine.
If you don't want to date people who are overweight, that's fine. However, if you say that to someone they will probably find you to be a bit of a jerk.
There was a time, decades ago, when smoking was much more common that it was seen as something more like a choice or preference - maybe vaping enjoys that category these days. Now that smoking is much more unusual it's more like a type of substance abuse. Any smoker hoping to form a meaningful relationship would be aware that it's an impediment.
You can avoid wasting people's time simply by not consuming it.