this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2026
21 points (100.0% liked)
Asklemmy
54661 readers
446 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 7 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
That's inaccurate. I'm jealous of a lot of my friends. I tell them I'm jealous. I'm also happy for them and help them out, especially if it helps them get to the point where I'm jealous of them.
You can have more than one emotion and opinion about things.
Would you say that rather than jealousy, you feel sympathetic joy? Because as defined by Cambridge dictionary, jealous is "an adjective used to describe someone who is feeling or showing an unhappy, resentful, or bitter emotion".
I feel that people don't seem to think jealousy is a negative emotion even though that's what it's defined as.
People are capable of incredibly complex emotions, such as feeling both unhappy bitterness of their own lives in comparison, while feeling and displaying joyous celebrations of their friends success.
One can have both positive and negative experiences of the same event. There's no use in trying to narrow down to either one.
Sure but if you were given the option of a friend who is both jealous and feels sympathetic joy compared to one who only feels sympathetic joy for you, I would trust one more than the other on average
[I'm not the one who originally commented]
I wouldn't know the difference.
All I can know and judge on and care about is how they choose to respond, not how they feel.
And I personally trust people who tell me of their ugly emotions (after we've been friends for a long time) more than the ones pretending to be perfect a decade into the friendship.
But the people who genuinely don't get jealous aren't pretending to be perfect. The ones pretending to be perfect are the ones that do feel jealous and hide it.
Feelings if you don't act up on is fine. Those are akin of invasive thoughts.
The moment those snide remakrs start: who were you hanging out with? Why are you looking at them? I won't talk to you if you are hanging out with them!
Pure hell. So answering your question again: no jealous friend is a burdensome connection that infects your emotions with their insecurities and dependency.