kindnesskills

joined 1 month ago

A woman doesn't have to be feminine, there are plenty of masc and butch women. Would you feel more comfortable with short hair? There are also other options. Would you feel more comfortable thinking of yourself as a man (men can also be feminine or masculine), or neither, or both?

I didn't feel comfortable calling myself a woman, but not crossing any gender boundary, I just always preferred "girl". I didn't feel mature enough to be a woman until I kinda forced myself to claim that title. With enough use I now feel comfortable referring to myself as a woman.

Titles and gender can be hard. You are allowed to experiment until you find the expression and terminology that suits you. But also, its okay to feel ridiculous, you can grow into feeling comfortable with whichever terminology you want.

I've known plenty of people who are sociable but thoughtless.

I know I myself have been a nuisance without realising it, and I am grateful for each person who have told me when I've been rude or hurtful. It's how I have learned to be more considerate in general, as well as cease the immediate behaviour to protect the relationship.

Not everyone will be accommodating, but you will never know unless you try.

[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 4 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Regsrdless of if the weights are falling or bouncing or being dropped: What about the actual suggestion of communicating with the neighbour? I notice you don't reply to those in the comments.

[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 17 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I have had either of these two major symptoms most of my life.

  1. Unhealthy amount: not being able to stop as long as there is alcohol left, staying out til closing, often getting blackout drunk, emptying the glass before going to bed instead of into the sink. This I've had most of my life.

  2. Unhealthy frequency: drinking before or during social events, party every weekend, "unwinding" after work, drinking as a fix to something (like making boring tasks fun or improving my mood or to fall asleep or get energized), thinkig about it a lot, unable to resist whenever its available or offered. This slowly turned into a more and more frequent habit, until I was literally drinking at work.

I guess there is also the final sign:

  1. Not being able to quit: this includes not even trying. I was never able to quit because I never really wanted to. Not wanting to quit is part of addiction, even when you need to. Once I tried to get in control of my drinking, I always found reason to drink pretty much as much as usual. This is when I finally realised that I was an addict. It's easy to ignore if you never try to quit, but once you try and fail to quit (several times), it's pretty obvious.

It's pretty well established knowledge not to feed random cats, and the more people who know not to, the better.

Do you feel blamed by people informing each other about this? If so, why? I didn't see anyone assigning blame here besides you.

[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

To some people dating means being in an relationship.

To some people it means being exclusive but not ayet a couple.

To some people it means getting to know each other, to figure out if there is potential for a relationship.

What did you mean, and what does he think it means? Ask him.

Good luck!

[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Rich, yes.

Not "eat the rich"-rich, but enough so that I would expect some charity work and personal responsibility to make the world slightly better, for example improving the workers conditions and benefits.

I might jot down my thoughts after a reading session or between chapters, but not taking notes like I would do for studying... More like bullet points of things I would bring up in a book club, or questions or ideas I want to remember for next time, or my own rambling musings triggered by an idea from the book. I rarely read those notes again, just writing them down is satisfying enough. I wouldn't want to stop the experience just to do diligent note-taking, but to each their own.

Sometimes I even skip or skim parts on a first read through and then read more thoroughly when I'm acquainted with the world, story and characters, it's easier to pick up conplicated history or lore once I've gotten the main story out of the way.

[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

She just came come with a weird tiny black dot on her nose. I tried cleaning it off with my thumb and saliva, like any mom would do to their tween in classic stories from my youth. It wasn't a wound and it didn't rub off. I'm stumped.

How is your pet doing?

[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's crazy. Maybe that's why my work computer doesn't have an option to hibernate... Thanks!

What kind of steroid do I feed my bike to make it beefy enough to work in snow?

Mine just slides around regardless of steering attempts.

[–] kindnesskills@literature.cafe 3 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

How do you restart it wrong? And more importantly - what's the correct way to do it?

It's so annoying (and slightly embarrassing, and funny how often it happens), to restart it myself to no avail... then have it work after a second identical restart just because someone else is spectating.

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