this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2026
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What is the less painful route to take when thinking about transicion? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago by LilyVess@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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After many years I'm finally trying to move toward transitioning ,but there's just so much to do that I don't really know where or even how to start.

I fear that going directly into HRT without doing anything else before will just make things harder. That I should get laser or voice training first or I don't know what else. I fear that doing it "wrong" will just make me feel awful and despite the mirror even more and push me back further into the "I don't need it" thing.

I also have no idea of what is the current standard for HRT or what to expect and whenever I find myself thinking all of these I end up just not looking for doctors or more info.

Any help?

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[–] rowinxavier@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Cis guy here, but I work with a few trans people as a support worker and have heard a lot about their experience that may apply to you.

Puberty is dodgy for everyone. The levels go up and down over a few years for all of the growth hormones, not just estrogen and testosterone. The level of change this causes varies person to person and the timeline is not the same for everyone.

The same applies to behaviours. Some people become very interested in presenting as a given gender fairly early on, others start that later, and some don't end up settling on a gender presentation at all or have multiple attempts to find something comfortable.

Voice training is a skill building exercise and it is really fun. Viewing it as a fun skill to learn will make it way less awful and may help to not generate dysphoria when it doesn't make you sound fem in the first ten minutes. I don't know how far along puberty you are and how much that has impacted your voice box but once you change the growth hormones the growth of your voice box will shift as well. It will take time for the physical shape to settle, so you need to learn how to use what you have to feel comfortable in your body. I would also recommend singing if you can as it gives you way more catchy ways of practicing a fem voice and is more fun than many of the more basic voice training exercises.

As for the fear of pushing yourself back into not doing things, yeah, it is hard. There will probably be days where it feels like that no matter what you do. There isn't a perfect way to do it. That said, you are doing something way harder than typical puberty, you are doing puberty+, the extension course in growing up. It is harder and it will suck sometimes, but you can do it.