Damn your eyes.
The most beautiful thing about the internet is that normally, I would have to spend a lot money on bear spray and a lot of effort administering it to get the same effect I get with the few clicks of a button.
this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2026
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Its time for the autopsy report to shine some light on that taint.
Dave dies in a disfiguring accident and they have to identify the body. They bring in his 2 lifelong best friends to ID him. Bill comes in and asks to see daves backside and says "Nope, that's not Dave". Then they bring in Ted who also asks to see Dave's ass. He also proclaims him to be not Dave. The coroner asks how they can tell it's Dave by looking at his bum. "Because everywhere we went people would say 'Here comes Dave with them 2 assholes'"
If me blindly belueving an Internet meme is what it takes to save me from seeing autopsy photos of his taint, then as far as I'm concerned this is all now cannon.