this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2026
441 points (97.0% liked)
Greentext
8548 readers
662 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Ordering a personal taxi for your food instead of walking a few blocks is peak American.
To be fair, typically in America (outside of major cities and certain planned neighborhoods), 4 minutes away implies by car. Even if driving only 20mph (unlikely), the pizza shop would be a minimum 1.3 miles away, which would be more like a 30+ minute walk for a pizza.
On top of that, there's almost no safe walking paths by design. You would likely have to traverse major roads with no sidewalks, crosswalks, or even pedestrian stop lights.
It's an unfortunate design that many are stuck with.
Unironically, yes.
It doesn't occur to most Americans to walk a bit instead of drive.
This is exacerbated by the design of American neighborhoods that discourages walking and encourages driving, which of course becomes a feedback loop where Americans don't walk because their neighborhoods aren't designed for it - or worse - designed against it, and so our neighborhoods are designed for people who don't walk, etc.
don't worry. tons of folks who live in the inner city where it's easily walkable still get delivery from the place 4 blocks away.
or better let, like my neighbors, they get a single coffee delivered from the coffee shop 2 blocks away. because they want to 'spoil' themselves. then they complain about how they can't afford rent and the COL is so high and they are so poor.
and they tell me I'm an privileged ableist asshole when i suggest maybe they could walk to the coffee shop like i do.
because you know, not being a stupid lazy idiot who is terrible with money is a form of ableism, or something now.
btw this is the same neighbor who works a 5 minute walk away, but drives to their workplace everyday and complains about the cost of gas.
also their parents have $100K cars... and they used to mouth off about difficult their life was growing up compared to mine... right.
Yeah, man. The people surviving the horrors are definitely fully to blame for their survival choices related to said horrors, and not the fuckers responsible for said horrors. You got a good eye on you. You're middle management material if I've ever seen it
/s
This reeks of "millenials and their avocado toast" energy
Your anecdote doesn't change anything I said, nor my opinion.
If anything you biased me against what you're trying to push with your lazy writing style, which is ironic given you criticize what you see as laziness in others.
What lazy? With autocorrect it actually takes loads of effort to get rid of capitalisation.
I'm not commenting on the content of the person's comments, but in terms of writing style I've always shared this person's aversion to capitalisation letters in (my own) casual communications. I don't know why, it's weird. Especially "I" as a personal pronoun. Who tf do I think I am? "i" will suffice for ones modest self.
because they are mad at me for what i said, and don't have a legit reason to be so, so they make up stupid shit about capitalization and writing style.
when you can't attack the content of what was said, you go after the style.
because we know in debate club, the winning move to is talk about how your fellow debater doesn't dress as well as you, so therefore they are stupid and wrong. and totally avoid staying on topic or responding to their points.
It's just widely-agreed-upon conventions to make the text more readable.
Injecting your personal feelings about how English should be written into everything you write is way more selfish than capitalizing "I."
right, so why are you doing that then? almost like you are directly contradicting yourself here... hmm
maybe because you're one of these folks and you are angry at being called out?
let me do you one better, I'll argue about how I'm the truly lazy and privileged one, because i walk tot he coffee shop, and therefore i am depriving a hard working doordasher of their income and selfish keeping the $5 delivery fee for the $3 coffee for myself, because I horrible no good able-bodied person who is flaunting my privileged by walking to the coffee shop rather ordering delivery. if i truly cared about the plight of the working-class, i'd be ordering as much doordash as possible to make sure my income goes direct to them, or something. blah blah i'm a massive prick because i have a higher income job and work from home and I am stealing that from someone else more deserving because of my skin color and penis, or something.
literally have had this argued at me before, btw. almost always by folks whose parents are multil millionaires, who consider themselves to be struggling proletariat in their hipster job that pays shit, but offering solidarity because they order doordash everyday, and hey you can just call up the bank of mom and dad and ask for $5000 when you can't make rent this month.
It's not my personal feeling; as I said, it's the agreed upon rules that everyone else use that I also use to make communication between us all easier.
I mean, I'm quite obviously someone who capitalizes "I" for reasons I have repeatedly stated, so I guess? I don't know why that computes as "anger" for you, but... okay!
Holy fuck you used a capitalized "I!" Guards!
i never agreed to any of your rules. weird.
They're not my rules. They're our rules. I didn't create English.
You and I both agree on the definition of "I," "never," "agreed," "to," "any," "of," "your," "rules," and "weird," otherwise you wouldn't have bothered typing that out. You knew I would understand what you wrote because we both form and express ideas with little characters known as "the Latin Alphabet" in specific permutations known as "English words" in specific permutations known as "English grammar."
Those are all rules. Your childish "Fuck the system! I communicate how I want!" is naive, impractical, and not a principle you actually follow or you would be typing complete gibberish non-language via Wingdings and everyone would ignore you accordingly. You've accepted that some may ignore you because you break some English rules, but you do agree to follow most of them.
In other words, you desperately want to pretend not to care about how effectively you communicate with others, potentially to virtue signal that position, but you don't actually believe that deep down. As they say, "larp larp larp sahur."
no, i just think it's funny watching you climb up this flag pole and show your bum.
when more well-adjusted folks don't care. How many langauges do you speak btw? I speak three and have studied 7 at a collegiate level, including some linguistics.
And yet, I don't agree with anything you said because well, I understand language is way more interesting what you are going on about, and you're just factually wrong on many accounts. But hey, as long as you get to feel smug, educated, and superior over differences in grammatical presentation, right? because we both know, that's what it's about. feeling superior to someone who doesn't reflect your narrow minded obsessions with what linguistic legitimacy is, so you make this absurd 'argument' that is a tautology, as if saying A = A, is like owning me or something.
But yeah, my grammar school teachers hated the shit out of me because they were like you. But my college professors liked me for those same reason. I wonder why that is.
also the utterly absurdity of you going off about grammar on a thread about doordashing where i was agreeing with you in the first place, but you just got so angry over not agreeing with you in the right grammatical style. hilarious internet shit, all of this.
TL;DR:
"I'm better than you. You just want to demonstrate you're superior. You are ridiculous. You are angry."
k
It was cheaper and faster to doordash a restaurant quite literally across the street in college, I tested it a few times when my friends would go to buy food there and mine would come like 10 minutes before they got back. Literally across the street, like a 1 minute walk max.
That sounds like the before days. These days, they profit the fuck out of us. Kids in college now know no different. Fuck these types of businesses
4 minutes is 2 miles.
Walking 30mph
You walk at a brisk pace!
what's peak American is the fact you think you are better than the delivery driver, even if you make less than them.
i think for many people, even who can't really afford food delivery, it's a social flex that 'at least i am not delivering pizzas and i'm the one getting them delivered'.
people love their social hierarchicies based on employment roles.
I'ma need you to connect the dots for me on this one dawg.
people love to look down on other people. and ordering delivery is one way they get to do that.
Can you show me the part of the post looking down on the driver and not the person too lazy to walk a few blocks for a pizza?
He wasn't saying you were wrong or arguing with you. He was adding on to your post.
Eh
It's not you you. It's "you" the imaginary hypothetical American.
god i love the internet.
person makes 3rd person statement, then you reply with 3rd person statement, and they think you are personally attacking them.
but I live in a city where if you say you like chicken, some random person two tables away will like come over to your table and feel personally attacked and lecture you on what a horrible person you are for telling someone else, you like chicken. in real life, to your face. then they ask you if you support gaza and and you go 'what does that have to do with any of this' and they go 'ZIONIST SCUM!'
and you just wanted to eat some nice chicken and were expressing your joy of eating chicken to your friend, who also came there for the chicken. but you are both oppressing/harming people who don't like chicken by enjoying it or something.
"You" is not a 3rd-person statement. It is, by definition, 2nd-person