this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2025
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Depressive episodes go up for me any time after a long break from ordinary life (including vacation, even). For me, so much about depression revolves around being unable to summon the motivation to do anything, which causes further depressed thoughts, which further depresses motivation. Breaking out of that loop is hard, and it takes time to get back in a routine that supports good mental health. I guess what I'm saying is that "momentum" matters for doing things; if I've been doing things, it's easier for me to do more things.
As far as things peaking in the evening, that's a classic. My spouse calls it my "10 pm ruminations" where I'll find myself staring at the wall for a while then say something like "maybe I should [action that would completely change the direction of my entire life]". I don't know if that's depression necessarily, just ordinary human existential angst.