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If you didn't suck it up and vote for Kamala, yes, I think you are more to blame for Trump than a person who did vote for her. It sounds to me like you are a protest non voter that is having trouble accepting the consequences of their actions and lashing out at people that did vote because they "didn't do more", which is wildly hypocritical. We don't all have time in our lives for activism, voting is most of what a normal person has access to to affect change.
As both a trans woman and a Hispanic person I can tell you, I'm scared too. This IS the fault of trump voters but abstaining or third party voting made it worse. Is it the main cause? The main problem? No, but swallowing a bitter pill would have maybe saved us some of the pain and fear. I live in texas and I refuse to run, I'll stay here and fight bitterly and hold my nose while making incremental change.
"How come other people didn't put more effort into getting me to to vote for the obviously better choice?" Ffs, you are responsible for your own vote.