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this reminds me of a joke.
so theres this bulgarian guy right? loves trains, has
loved trains since he was a kid. one day, the
bulgarian railroad association hires him to be the
driver of one of their trains.
he is ECSTATIC! our train boy is so excited, in fact,
that on his first day driving, he... derails the train
and kills one person.
this, of course, gets him the death penalty.
(bulgarian law is weird.) as he's sitting in the
electric chair, the executor asks him what he
wants for his last meal.
"One banana."
the executor finds this odd, but gives him his
banana, and when he finishes, the executor straps
him in.
she pulls the switch, and....
nothing. the guy lives, and is let free. bulgarian law
is, as stated previously, pretty weird, and if
someone survives the electric chair it is deemed
and Act of God and the criminal is set free.
considering the bulgarian railroad association is
desperate for employees, our guy is hired once
again, and is driving the next day. as you can
probably assume, he is exceedingly nervous, and
due to this.... he crashes the train again. this time,
two people die.
hes sent back to the execution chamber, as
obviously, killing two people requires the death
penalty as well. the executor scratches her head,
scoffs, and says, "Well, uh... welcome back? What
do you want for your actual last meal?"
"Two bananas."
she sighs, and gives him his bananas. he eats
them, is strapped in, and the executor pulls the
switch to-
-nothing. the chair buzzes, but the man is fine.
once again, he is let free, and once again, hes
back on the train the next day.
now he is REALLY careful. like, incredibly careful.
whenever the train is stopped, he reads the
handbook. never gets distracted, takes extra
coffee... he's really doing his best.
well, that is until he sneezes, knocks over his
scalding hot coffee onto his foot, and crashes the
train again, kilking THREE people this time.
off he goes to the executioner, and she is a little
more than peeved. she sits him down, and says
sternly, "l swear to God, if you ask for three
bananas, I will strap you in without your meal."
without hesitation- "Three bananas."
the executioner roars in anger, straps the man in,
and slams the switch down, finally ready to finish
this weirdo off.
...nothing. once again, the chair activates, but the
man is fine.
this, of course, just confuses her. she fumbles
over her words, asking the man why he didn't die if
he didn't have his bananas. it just didnt make
sense!
the man replied, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to
do with it. I'm just an awful conductor."
Yeah, he was a really bad conductor