this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2025
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The best part is when they purposely use only one notification channel, so you either have to disable all of them or none of them. And it's not because they don't know you can make multiple channels, nope, it's because some product manager figured out there's a higher rate of delivery for marketing notifications if they don't let users have fine-grained control. Metrics above all else 👑
(Read this in a David Attenborough voice)
And here, we see the product manager in its natural habitat, the office boardroom. Although dark and desolate, it provides the product manager with one its most critical resources: the whiteboard. The average product manager goes through two whiteboards every meeting, and this one is no exception. Thankfully, it is well-prepared for the quarterly meeting, having found a boardroom with four whole whiteboards.
But, not all is perfect for this product manager. The natural enemy of the product manager—the project manager—has sensed activity in the boardroom. In their natural habitat, it's a constant struggle between product manager and project manager. A fight between metrics: user, or developer. Luckily for our product manager, it's not its first encounter with a project manager.
The intruding project manager takes a sip of its coffee, demanding a higher share of the metrics for its lines of code. A notification channel is 6 extra lines, and that can make the life-or-death difference between the project manager's quarterly bonus. Our product manager is unwavering, however. It has dealt with this project manager before, and it knows just how to drive it away. The product manager raises itself up and puffs out its chest, trying to scare away the project manager by marking it's territory with click-through rates and loudly mentioning the CEO.
The product manager's strategy worked. At the mention of Steve, the intruding project manager turned pale and scurried away. The product manager is safe for another day in the office.
If nobody else says it, let me say it: thank you for this.