Well, so its this time of the year again, where I am staying at my parents place for about 2 weeks. Due to the fact, that they were semingly unwilling to accept me and my new name/pronouns I decided to go the confrontational way and start correcting them when they misgender/deadname me. I knew that this would spark some discussions, but oh boy I was not prepared that this would bring out what they really think about me. My mom literally said "I will not do something that I dont believe in" (they always said, that they were "accepting" me (they didnt, but they at least said so, looks like they dont even try to hide it)), but even worse I got to hear "You cant expect us to get used to this for those few times you visit". Are you fucking kidding me? I am not more important than a slight inconvenience? You are really not understanding, that this isnt about something being worth it, but instead about your fucking child you raised? I have been here for literally one day and my motivation to stay has already dropped to zero. I am planning to leave at the end of the first week of January, but I guess I will probably leave shortly after new years eve (or maybe already at 30th since I have a perfect excuse for leaving that day). Worst of all: I dont even have weed anymore, so I cant even get stoned as fuck (even if it would only be in the evening) to make it a little bit more bearable. I had hope, that they somehow might still become more accepting once I require the new name/pronouns, but it looks like, this has only made them more hostile towards me. Only good thing is, that I will have the chance to avoid them for most of the day for the 25/26th. Wish me luck, that I can stand through this for one more week, I will try to get out of this as soon as possible.
Edit: Thank ya all for your kind words. I highly appreciate it.
Hey, I'm really sorry you're having such a shit time :(
I wasn't willing or able to compromise on the way I was treated just to appease the family. It took cutting my family off until the message landed โ that there's no relationship with me if they can't get behind my identity. Around the 6 month mark I gave them a chance again and started to feel a change in the atmosphere. Years later and we're finally OK now. (Not great, but OK, and more than teen me could ever have imagined.) I hope you can get to this place someday.