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How can I remain professional toward this female colleague I feel wants something romantic with me when I don't? (linux.community)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by eli04@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I don't like her romantically and want nothing sexual with her either. She acts desperate to talk to me, won't get into more details.

I could act busy each time she approaches me, and avoid her as much as I can but I don't know if I should tell my manager about this. I don't even know what I'd tell a manager: "I'm informing that I want nothing to do with X and I'm going to keep my conversations with her to a minimum"?

Another idea: be boring as f*ck.

Do I tell her friends I don't like her?

Ideally I could tell her directly I'm not interested / I don't befriend coworkers (not true but it would work to soften the blow), but I simply don't know how defensive she's gonna get, laugh it off or accuse me of playing games.

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[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well that's the trouble with HR, its a person(s) and they are unpredictable. Thankfully where I'm at the HR is good. I had a situation where a coworker was being toxic. I made a complaint and they handled it discretely and in a way that the source wasn't needed.

[–] hyacin@lemmy.ml 2 points 15 hours ago

Yeah I've seen it go both ways before. Ideally they just send out some blanket memo "reminding people of our policy on $x" and everyone who may be doing something even a little questionable wonders if it's about them and adjusts their behaviour.

I actually just had that this week - we had a team thing and our director reminded us about "team norms" and blah blah, and I knew exactly why he was doing it, and who and what the real problem was - but other random people started showing up to meetings on time and such - because they all thought "oh crap, did someone complain about me?"

But, as said, you have zero control over what they do, so sadly it could go either way.