Wasn't sure if I wanted to put it out there, but I needed a place to let it out. I suppose my situation was too good to be true. Dated for years, but the marriage itself did not make it to a single year, at least unofficially.
It's been a stressful time. She previously had a government job under an agency that doge culled. She loved her job. I realize that as a society we work too much, but to some degree people do want to feel productive and that many people find their workplaces to be places of belonging. She apologized for taking so long to come to this conclusion, but she mentioned that this time away from work has helped a lot with self-reflection.
I was aware that she considered herself bi previously and that she had relations with women before. I wasn't aware of the extent of it. She told me she felt compulsory heterosexuality for a long time, but wasn't entirely sure of it and I was her last chance in regards to men. She told me she still loved me, just not that way, and that I was the best partner she'd ever had, that she was remorseful about not being compatible in that regard. We discussed a lot of more private feelings, mostly trying to understand and showing concern for each other.
I support her. If that's how she feels then that's how she feels, and she deserves to be happy. I'm not angry with her, and we're not leaving each others lives, just changing roles. It still hurts a lot, but that's life sometimes. It isn't anyone's fault.
That said I'm glad I won't be doing anything tomorrow. I'm just struggling to function right now. And yeah, that's how it's going.
Edit: I slept in today quite a bit. I've read through most of the replies and it really melted my heart. I cried a bit. I didn't expect so many kind words or this much encouragement. I appreciate a lot of the advice too. I don't really know how to express any gratitude beyond this. I will try to reply a bit more later, but I need to take some more time to myself for a while. Thank you.
This guy is recommending you a book written by Jordan Peterson, OP. I would disregard this comment and the advice linked in it.
Let the old you die, making way for a new more pliable you, with a parasocial dependency on a tearful strung out grifter
It made me curious, like is the book intended to bring OP into the manosphere or red pill him or something? Here's the rules, most actually do sound good, but with some "is that really important?" and "oh that's about control" mixed in:
Like 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12 all sound like good advice. 1 is the take it or leave it one, 5 is about controlling your kids, 6 is about silencing potentially valid criticism (or letting perfection be the enemy of good).
That said, I just looked at the wikipedia page for it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12_Rules_for_Life
Who knows what the actual text says for each rule, though. It's possible he's written some batshit interpretation for them all.
The actual 12 Rules for Life aren't that bad. I read the book, and it got me into Jordan Peterson. It was only when listening to him on podcasts, and seeing him on the news did I realise that he's a right-wing grifter and slinger of hate and misinformation.
Yeah, there's another author that wrote a book called the 48 Laws of Power. You can tell from reading it that he doesn't care what you do with that knowledge, even gives many morally questionable examples, but the book is full of good knowledge that will help you understand power better. It changed my outlook on a bunch of things, about as much as How to Win Friends and Influence People did.
They aren't stupid on the right. Willfully ignorant about some things, sure, but even those align with their worldviews rather than being actual inconsistencies. We're all human dealing with human issues and good insight or advice can come from anywhere on the political spectrum.
Yeah why turn to a clinical psychologist whose book has sold 20million copies when life is hard.
I mean you can listen to this guy who has nothing to contribute instead!
Being a popular right wing grifter with 20m sales isn't the flex you think it is.
I would say that article they linked about him contributes a lot btw.
You calling Jordan Peterson a “right-wing grifter” isn’t an argument... its you admitting you don’t have one.
Millions of people reading his work doesn’t make him correct, but it definitely makes your drive-by dismissal look shallow. If the only way you can engage with ideas about precision, responsibility, or self-reflection is to label the author a cartoon villain, that says more about your intellectual comfort zone than it does about the material.
And flexing an article “that contributes a lot” while refusing to address the actual point I raised is basically the academic version of “I didn’t read it but I hate it.” If you actually had a counterpoint, you’d make one instead of hiding behind slogans.
If the best you can do is buzzwords and vibes, don’t be shocked when people treat your take with the same level of seriousness you put into it, which is to say none.
Let me get this straight. So OP posts an article detailing why Jordan Peterson is wrong. Your response is to say that he's successful and rich, how wrong could he be? Someone gently tries to tell you that him being successful doesn't mean he's right, and you respond by getting cranky at them?
Please give this page a read, and let me know what you think.
Hey, I totally forgot to give you some homework. Since you are suddenly the expert here, check this out and let me know what you think.
Dr. Chloe Carmichael, an actual clinical psychologist, basically says the same thing Peterson does. You have to notice problems early and actually talk them through or they just rot and turn into resentment. 🔗 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nervous-energy/202103/the-value-of-addressing-issues-early-in-relationships
Ignoring stuff does not keep the peace. It just blows up later. Pretending ignorance is bliss only makes the problems worse.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day. If Jordan Peterson told me the sky is blue... Well I'd believe him because he'd be right. But that doesn't mean he isn't a disingenuous cooker who spews scientific misinformation (and hatred) on the regular.
That’s a long way of saying “I don’t like him so nothing he says counts.” Riveting analysis.
Wow, dramatic. If you read what I actually said instead of rewinding to “Jordan Peterson is wrong” in your head, you’d notice I wasn’t making an argument from authority at all... I was pointing out context you clearly missed.
But sure, keep pretending I’m defending him like he’s infallible just because you need a villain.