Wasn't sure if I wanted to put it out there, but I needed a place to let it out. I suppose my situation was too good to be true. Dated for years, but the marriage itself did not make it to a single year, at least unofficially.
It's been a stressful time. She previously had a government job under an agency that doge culled. She loved her job. I realize that as a society we work too much, but to some degree people do want to feel productive and that many people find their workplaces to be places of belonging. She apologized for taking so long to come to this conclusion, but she mentioned that this time away from work has helped a lot with self-reflection.
I was aware that she considered herself bi previously and that she had relations with women before. I wasn't aware of the extent of it. She told me she felt compulsory heterosexuality for a long time, but wasn't entirely sure of it and I was her last chance in regards to men. She told me she still loved me, just not that way, and that I was the best partner she'd ever had, that she was remorseful about not being compatible in that regard. We discussed a lot of more private feelings, mostly trying to understand and showing concern for each other.
I support her. If that's how she feels then that's how she feels, and she deserves to be happy. I'm not angry with her, and we're not leaving each others lives, just changing roles. It still hurts a lot, but that's life sometimes. It isn't anyone's fault.
That said I'm glad I won't be doing anything tomorrow. I'm just struggling to function right now. And yeah, that's how it's going.
Edit: I slept in today quite a bit. I've read through most of the replies and it really melted my heart. I cried a bit. I didn't expect so many kind words or this much encouragement. I appreciate a lot of the advice too. I don't really know how to express any gratitude beyond this. I will try to reply a bit more later, but I need to take some more time to myself for a while. Thank you.
There's nothing to cry about! If she's gay or lesbian or trans or asexual. She's with you. You should help her find a girlfriend since you're by default her best friend. If that's what she wants. If she wants to leave you, then I guess that's her decision. I strongly believe that my relationship with my wife as my partner in crime is much stronger than any sexual feelings I may need to satisfy with porn or by having a sexual partner. It's just sex. So try to free her from yourself and maybe you could find a bi third wheel or maybe you each get a sex partner only for sex. What do I know.
Theres some pretty rough advice here, so I concur. The poor person has just found out they will no longer be with their wife.. trying to find a girlfriend for them is an unusual comment.
I'm married almost 20 years. Sex got nothing on us. I don't sleep with her and almost don't see her that much these days. She hangs out with her sister at their events. I go with them some times but usually I keep to myself doing my hobbies. When you get older it's just one person and another person. You can be gay or bi or anything else. If she wants him great if not, well you just let go, it wasn't meant to be.
Sure, that may be how you feel about a relationship, but absolutely nothing about this post indicates that, that is how OP feels about his relationship.
Ahh ok, fair enough, seems you and I have different expectations in a relationship which is fair enough.
That sounds like a weird take, because attractiveness and sex are sorta important parts to a functioning relationship as far as I'm aware (im not that smart btw).
Also saying "you should help her find a girlfriend" also seems very weird to me.
You might be a weird person idk or maybe I'm wrong idk but i think i'm right (because i'm really far up my own ass)
I'm weird I guess then.
Then you hang in there too, pal. We'll all get through this together.