this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2026
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That’s why my CV looks so strong:
Director of Internal Audit; Enron Corp. (1998-2001)
Senior Vice President for Risk Management; Lehman Brothers (2002-2008)
Edit: for all the recruiters reaching out, I’m not interested. I’m currently Managing Director for Growth (Europe) at Tesla, and expecting to get a huge bonus after our Q4 2025 sales numbers are final.
Didn't you also help found that FTX crypto exchange a few years ago too?
I was the lead engineer behind the graphite tips rods at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant and I helped Boeing design MCAS for the 737 max
Head of security, Wold Trade Centre, NY, 1995-2001.
I think you mean you worked for Morton Thiokol if you were in QC. I know, because I was in rocket component procurement at NASA around the same time, and I remember the contract very well for... reasons....
I see from your resume that you're good at looking the other way while we make billions. You're hired.
PLEASE
I just now realized: someone has the most cursed resume on LinkedIn. I'd expect something in line with this.
Ohh it'd be hilarious to try and find cursed resumes.
However that would mean signing up for LinkedIn and I'd rather repeatedly hit myself on the head with a hammer. The brain damage would be about equal
Weren’t you also the Lead Safety Engineer at OceanGate for a while?
No, that was at Boeing.
I see you left that short stint at WorldCom off your resume.