this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2026
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The problem is that a lot of women are really terrible at giving the right signals, and men are really bad at reading them.
And because men are the ones that pursue women traditionally, what do you expect them to do?
If they think there's even a small chance, they will make the move, because they know if they don't, even if that woman likes them, she will never ever make the first move.
The problem is the traditional approach to romance and the fact that women rarely pursue the men they like.
So go ahead, be a single grumpy bitch, because some men try to hit on you.
I dream that a woman would hit on me.
Probably could improve your chances by not using sexist language like bitch.
Or in my case, I find out after the fact that she wanted me to make a move, and I was continuously dismissing her hints because I didn’t want to be creepy and/or ruin a good friendship if I was misreading the situation. My best friend of like 4 years ended up pissed when I started dating someone new, because she had been hoping I would ask her out. Like bitch, why didn’t you say that when I was single?
Relevant
OP is getting a lot of downvotes. I assume, from straight guys who are offended at this notion. As a straight guy myself, I understand their frustration. But straight up (ha!) - if you are a straight guy who is pissed off by this message, you are fucking up.
Why? Because it's the truth. Go outside, go touch some grass, and observe how women interact with each other (or with obviously gender non-conforming people). They hug as soon as they meet. They give each other compliments. They ask for contact info and proactively make plans to spend time together. In the context of this post, this is what is meant by "treating them like a human". It isn't just basic respect. It is giving them a feeling of warmth, support, and acceptance.
So if you're a guy, and you feel like the world is cold, unsupportive, and unwelcoming - great! Here is some validation of that feeling! You are right! Enjoy the ego boost!
But also - now you know this information. And this is good, because even though it feels bad to know that half the planet doesnt trust you by default while they trust the other half implicitly, it also points you in the right direction for solving your problem.
Here's the thing. Women do, in fact, like to fuck. Even with men?? Yes! But what they don't like is dealing with the emotional turmoil of guys who want to fuck them that they don't want to fuck back. This could come in two forms:
The guy who asks them out, clearly a bundle of nerves that could explode into rage or tears at any moment. A lot has been said about how women have legitimate fears about men becoming violent or vindictive when they are turned down, but I don't think this is worth focusing on, because we're all very nice people here who wouldn't do anything to hurt someone else even if we feel bad about getting rejected. However, I think it is also important to keep in mind that most women are nice and they feel bad about making someone feel bad by rejecting them. And so if you ask a woman out and will clearly feel bad if she rejects you, then when she rejects you she will also feel bad, which is an emotional load on her, and she doesn't like that.
The guy who never asks them out, but who is clearly into them. The guy who always shows up, sticks by her side at every moment, laughs too hard at all of her jokes. This guy is annoying. Maybe if he just asked her out when they first met, she'd be into him, but he just keeps hanging around, making her constantly feel his now-unwanted attraction. But she can't tell him to go away, or that she isn't interested in him, because then she would feel like a presumptuous bitch. So she feels stuck, always trying to shake this guy off or avoid him whenever he shows up.
So the solution is simple. Don't be those guys. Literally all you need to do is not pin your self worth to whether or not any particular girl likes you. If your see a girl you are interested in, then go say hi and have a normal fucking conversation. Then, at a point in time when it wouldn't be awkward as fuck, just say "hey, btw, I think you're gorgous/adorable/super interesting/a total baddie/the girl with the best hair here. Wanna go out sometime?" If she says yes, great! Maybe she even wants to make out right now! If she says no, also great, you have a new friend and you can release whatever nerves you had about whether or not an attractive stranger likes you.
I'm old, so I'm sure this will be discounted as my experience being disconnected from a younger one but here it is anyway.
If a woman is truly interested in you, she WILL pursue you. Emotional Availability, if you don't know what it is look it up and BECOME it, it'll change your life, is the most important first step. Probably save you from a heart attack as well.
Ever seen a mid looking guy with a bombshell? It's not just money, sometimes folks just like each other's vibes, and women are less visually stimulated than men. You are seen even when you're not trying or paying attention, and your vibe is everything.
Lastly the day you no longer NEED a woman in your life, one will find you. Find a way to be happy alone, and you'll never want for company again. Works wonders for cats
Nothing you said is true across the board. There are plenty of people who won't express romantic interests regardless of how emotionally available the person they're interested in is.
I've had several women admit years later that they were interested in me and were waiting for me to make the first move.
Part of the reason why many men tend to think that simple kindness is a sign of romantic interest is because women generally don't make their interest in them obvious, so they look for any sort of clue that it might be true.
The other part is that it's fairly rare for men to receive genuine care and kindness from women they're not romantically involved with.
That's not to say that women never express obvious romantic interest in men, but it's not exactly common for women to make the first move.
Nothing is ever true across the board. Women are not a hive mind of unified thought. BUT, if your looking for a woman who would express interest in you, rather than vice versa, I stand by my statements. I'm not talking about common, I'm talking about what he "dreams of"
I don't disagree with the other things you said, but this analogy is a flop. I wanna pet cats because they are fluffy, not because they arent needy. As evidence, I submit the fact that I also like petting dogs.
I think they meant that cats are often perfectly happy when left alone.
This is correct
That's is 100 percent untrue. Women makes themselves available to the men the like. To the men that they don't they swipe left. She's only being mean to the ugugs. Might be us... https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a#%3A%7E%3Atext=This+study+was+conducted+to%2C16.8*ln%28like%25%29+52.3
Tinder is not the only place where people express romantic interest in others.
Not but it's verifiable numbers, that are observed trends.