alt text : a blacked out silhouette of a side profile with the negative space of multiple jagged teeth curling inwards towards their head, flora in the corner.
its so hard to hang out when you're being constantly bombarded by the anxiety that romantic nonplatonic feelings might arise in the other person. Keeping your interactions sanitized so that you don't accidentally lead anyone on, but at this point simply showing anyone any form of attention is "leading them on."
I love everyone, I want to be friends with everyone, I want to invite them to my home and watch movies and share meals together. Why must this indicate romance in the sense that this escalator ends in sex?
rhetorically, why is sex and romance such a big deal anyways? Both seekers and avoiders place an importance upon it that seems excessive. Its simply a thing that happens when your lives are compadable enough.
In the end I feel objectified more than ever, just a vehicle for people's sexual and romantic desires. Not seen as a real person who views their own life as romantic, and the meeting of people as romantic (but not in the nonplatonic sense.)
this message has been brought to you by the (demi) aroace collective.
Heteronormativity is frightened by honesty? Modern dating relies heavily on plausible deniability both for safety (like women getting murdered) and to save face when they are rejected. In addition when you are single people implicitly see you as on the market unless you loudly state otherwise. There's also the 'fun' assumption that men are always ready for sex to the point I've been called very colorful names and my orientation questioned when I've turned people down.
There is a huge society-wide ideology that privileges coupling up and treats it as the norm, while being single is treated as deviance. Look how much angst society has for people not having kids^[Especially since 10-15 years ago all the elites were loudly pontificating about overpopulation and said we should have fewer kids.]! Because of that people get into relationships and have sex for all kinds of terrible reasons. This article about Hate Sex has several funny confessions.