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Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Today we will be discussing fetch quests, a game mechanic in which...
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this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
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You don't need to kill them to get their foreskin though. Seems a bit over the top that way tbh
It was to prove that the people he killed weren't Israelites. The foreskins weren't the objective, murdering neighbouring people so that they could expand was.
Killing newborn Israelites and then telling the king: "Ha ha. Look! Those Philistines all have tiny penises. Isn't that funny?"
I wonder if he tried asking them nicely first?
"Hey, bro. Can you help out a homie by giving me your foreskin, so I can get some pussy in return?"