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I'm old and polyamorous so I've been through a lot of breakups. They all suck. All of them. Every single time. I'm not over all of them either. Some of them will, I suspect, hurt for the rest of my life.

So that's the honest part of the pain. It sucks and I'm so sorry you're experiencing this.

The good news though is it gets better. It hurts less eventually, even if it doesn't feel like it will. Sometimes that hurt is replaced with fond memories. Enjoyable moments that you can look back on, through the hurt, to times when that relationship was good. Things that made you feel like yeah, I was here. I lived. I mattered. Sometimes it's just replaced with anger and you really never understand any of it. That's okay too.

So how do you get there? Time and letting yourself feel what you feel. It's okay to feel hurt. It's okay to cry or yell or cope however you gotta. As long as you need to. And then you gotta take those feelings and set them aside for a bit and move forward. Do something you enjoy for yourself, a hobby or a walk or a food or a phone call with a friend or literally whatever you like. And then do the things you gotta do to live...shower or do laundry or work or whatever the things you gotta do to live are. And just go through that cycle. Feel until you don't wanna anymore, and then do something for yourself that reminds you why you're here, and then do something that you gotta do. Pick yourself up even if you don't want to. It's not about some distant future where maybe things get better. It's about right now, doing what you can to find moments to enjoy every single day.

I'm no therapist or anything but this works for me and it works for the people I know that have experienced loss too. It's okay to feel so don't let anyone tell you not to. But you also gotta take care of yourself too. Feel and then be kind to yourself.

And I think what you'll find is that feeling part gets easier, or shorter, or takes longer to come on the next time and the time after that. The moments of joy come easier and the moments of sadness become old friends. It gets easier. But it takes time.

So take your time. Don't rush through the grief. But take care of yourself too while you do, because you matter too.