this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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No such thing. Ask away!

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I dig through my memories and I remember this was a thing since I was a kid. Like I remember my mom just constantly saying "We love you a lot, do you know that?" and then straight up asking me: "Do you love your mom and dad?" (speaking in 3rd person for some reason) then followed by "Do you love mom or dad more?"... and I remember always just answering that: Yes I love them, and mom more than dad... (I remember that is probably just honestly how I felt, I never lied about it)

I don't remember dad ever asking this...

Sometimes (when I was younger) mom asked me: "If mom and dad got a divorce, who are you going with?"...

wtf mom

And like sometimes they argue then threaten divorce...

So... mom has higher income so I feel like at the time I just told her I'd go with her solely because of the financial stability... (I mean dad also doesn't really show affection... ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ)

(This was many years ago, during my teenage years. The divorce thing never happened, empty threats...)

...

Now as a young adult, I'm dealing with depression and she still says this... and like I feel very awkward when she asks me "Do you love me?"

I do feel an attachment towards her, but idk if you can call it "love" per se.

So sometimes I stay quiet... so it just ended with an awkward silence...

Then mom was like: "Do you you not love me? Do you hate me?"

No wtf mom, that's not what I meant...

Do parents just do that? Are they seeking validation about their decision to choose to have children?

Cultural Context: My family is ethnically Chinese.

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[โ€“] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 24 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

Homie I have been seeing you make posts like this for months and I gotta say its not normal and I am sorry. I dont ask my kids that shit. I tell them that I love them and pelt them with kisses whether they like it or not because I won't be alive forever and I want them to know. Kids dont get the gravity of that and they shouldn't have to.

[โ€“] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 12 points 15 hours ago (4 children)

I mean sorry if I keep making these weird posts... but like its better than keeping thoughts in my head... bottling up everything only makes it worse...

The thing with internet is that you can vent any time you want... seeking professional help takes time, like they're not on call 24/7 to listen to you...

Sometimes I wish they created an actual AI (like an actual Artificial General Intelligence, not those LLM shit) for you to talk to.

Sometimes I wish I could visit an alternate timeline where that version of my self "figured it out"... so maybe I could ask him for advice...

[โ€“] BreadOven@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago

Ask away. Talking about this stuff is usually a good thing. If anyone doesn't like it, they can go elsewhere.

[โ€“] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 14 points 15 hours ago

Keep posting. I just want you to know that what you are being put through is not normal. You're not supposed to hang your insecurities on your child. Nobody has it "figured out", some people are just in a good place for them and some not and that can change in an instant.

[โ€“] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 1 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

!DIYMentalHealth@lemmy.dbzer0.com

I'm not done with it but...

(And if you know how to write me a bot that would be the biggest help. Keeping up with the weekly skill post was one of the things that made me give up. If I could automate those I think I could handle interactions with people on them.

[โ€“] protist@retrofed.com 1 points 14 hours ago

Quick question for you...what is it you need to "figure out?"