this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2026
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I think something that complicates it is that spice tolerance increases as you eat more spicy things. Some people experience that 1 the same as others feel the 3 and vice versa.
If Thailand is as used to tourists as other comments have said, then it wouldn't surprise me if they do something similar to western restaurants with spice: over exagerate how spicy everything is so that tough guys can ask for something that will make them look tough without risking the staff needing to deal with some of them crying about it being too spicy (and maybe also feeling like they need to prove their toughness some other way).
So it wouldn't surprise me if the home cooking experience is more in line with what people would expect of Thai cuisine. And not because they want to blast their tastebuds and assholes, but because their tolerance is high from eating spicy food their whole lives and that's how much they need to get to a "pleasantly hot" level.