this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2026
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My toddler "lies" all the time, but how do you determine whether they mean to deceive or if they think they're communicating something different?
For example, if I ask "are you sleepy?" and they responded "No" when they clearly are, is it because they understand the question as "Do you want to take a nap?", or do they understand that "sleepy" refers to the physiological sensation they're currently experiencing and are lying about it to avoid having to nap?
haha yeah there are definitely gray areas! I was thinking of simpler cases, for instance you go into the kitchen where your 15 month has just run, and when they see you, they almost reflexively hide the item they've taken off the worktop behind their back.
This is what happened to me this week with my granddaughter, the item she'd taken was a banana so she wasn't about to get told off - not that I her granddad would ever tell her off for anything!
I don't think the situation you describe is any different. Do they understand that they're not allowed to have this thing regardless of whether they're seen or not? Or do they think that there's some arbitrary rule where they're allowed to have it only if they're not discovered? Do they even have a concept of what it means for something to be "allowed"?