I suspect I have ADHD (maybe inattentive).
Never have suspected this to be true until a few months ago - I am 31 years old.
Sadly, I used to think about people who said they have ADHD were making excuses for their poor behavior or work performance. (Sorry I guess)
'Everyone has a little bit of ADHD' 'We are all a little autistic'
How do you folks deal with statements such as these? And is it possible the people saying this are undiagnosed amd projecting (like I think I was)?
Recently when someone says that I simple say 'No, (disorder x, y, z) is a (category i.e. developmental) disorder meaning the person's CNS or psyche has developed incorrectly'
Which simply yields more arguing. . .
My next question---
Background - I have struggled my whole life with life. My apartment is constantly messy save a few weeks out of the year, my insurance goes un updated and I drive illegally, I do not speak to people for days on end (family included), deadlines are almost never met, the phrase 'anything without immediate and serous consequence, is invisible and impossible to do' is very accurate to my entire life.
I have been searching for 31 years (more or less) for explanations as to why I am so much more dysfunctional than my peers
Question: Is ADHD/ADD really this debilitating, or must it be a combination of things?
Because if this ultimately explains most if not all of my difficulties, why isnt this treated as a severe disability? Because I am barely capable of doing anything if there.
Are no immediate consequence - and for many adult things- there are not.
Additional ramble- I initiated an assessment with a psychologist outside of my insurance coverage as it has been too difficult for me to navigate the system so I am paying out of pocket. I initially asked for an autism/ADHD assessment/ but after doing more learning I see autism as less likely in my case although perhaps I dont know.
I am so frustrated that at 31 years old and multiple encounters with psychologist, psychiatrists and other MDs none have ever even hinted at ADHD the most I've gotten is--mild and or moderate depression, general anxiety/social anxiety
That developmental comment strikes me as more autistic, and I'm not sure if that's even accurate for ADHD. My understanding is that it's based off serotonin receptor issues that ultimately result in reduced executive functioning capability. Basically the brain literally doesn't release the reward chemical as appropriate, so we hyper fixate on immediate reward.
Most people saying shit like "everyone is a little X" are just being dismissive. Maybe they don't care, maybe they don't want to talk about it, but you're probably not convincing them. I'd probably keep it short with something along the lines of "Most people drink sometimes too, but some people are alcoholics. The difference is severity."
I'll be real, I don't often discuss my "conditions" outside of my spouse, my immediate family, and close friends. I don't go out of my way to hide it, but I'm not exactly volunteering it.
Anyway, the difference in a lot of these sort of things that people say everyone is a little bit of, is the severity as mentioned earlier.
Like for depression: Yeah, everyone gets sad sometimes. Most people can probably recall a time where something made them sadder than made logical sense. Most people don't have trouble finding happiness in literally everything, truly believe the world would be better off without them in it, seriously plan suicide methods and weigh the pros and cons of technique, and have such literal and real problems getting out of bed in the morning that sometimes they just don't.
OCD: Everyone has certain things they're extra particular about. Most people don't spend 6 hours in a frenzied panic scrubbing their whole body raw because they found a small hair they didn't recognize on their shirt.
ADHD: Everyone has issues focusing sometimes. Most people don't have a near full incapability to deal with things that only have long term effects. Most people don't have trouble maintaining focus on things for longer than 5 minutes at a time. Most people are able to more regularly force themselves to do what they should rather than what is the most immediately gratifying.
These aren't the best examples, but I hope I get the point across.
And don't discount the depression and anxiety diagnoses either. Depression is pretty frequently co-morbid with ADHD, as far as I know.
Personally, I'm on some ADHD meds, anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety. ADHD meds took me probably 5 years of dedicated trying with my Dr to find the right one and dosage that worked for me (this was before quick and extended release meds were a thing). Anti-depressants have luckily been a one and done, got it right the first time. Got on them when I realized that while I had plenty of reasons to be sad, it was preventing me from being able to reliably get out of bed in the morning and do basic care things like showering on a regular basis. Had a period where I didn't leave my room except to eat for a few months. Tried breaking from them a few times and confirmed they're still needed. Similar with anti-anxiety. Got it right the first time. Got them when I realized I was literally unable to leave work at work and would just loop stressful shit from my workday in my head during my downtime. Was having stress nightmares about being at work. Same thing, took a break and the shit came back so... yeah.
I know I likely will and or can benefit from medication but I am also unsure and wary.
I was prescribed some SSRI and felt relatively horrific side effects and choose to quit before 72 hours were up..amd SSRIs are supposedly meant to be noticed after months of taking them I believe.
Having nightmares about work. -maybe i dont habe so much nightmares but waking loops of memories of all.slrts of things I did that I wish I hadn't. Worst was when there was woman (coworker) whom flirted with me in and out of work amd drove my reward systems insane so that it was like I was on drugs amd then having withdrawals--led me to do all sorts of regrettable things. I believe I was like a pet entertainment for her. I dont think her flirts were genuine but rather she enjoyed seeing me aroused/blushed maybe knowing there would never be any true reciprocity
Thanks