this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2026
497 points (100.0% liked)
WomensStuff
1002 readers
227 users here now
Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
- Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
- Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
- Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
- No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
- New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
If i really really really need to say something. I would say its unfair how often women win in custody dispudes, even if there is no real argument why. Most of the time if its "a draw" the mother wins by default.
Other than that cant really think nothing else.
Well maybe that i live in country where men have mandatory military service, but women dont. But in my mind its okay that women dont have to serve, so i guess im against equality then?
If course you really really really need to say something in a group that very specifically asks you not to. Sorry, no. Tells you not to. Rule #1.
Because you're a man and the silly little requests of silly little girls don't matter, do they?
That’s a misconception. These days, the main reason why women are granted majority custody more often is because men seek out custody less often.
Yep, every time I've heard this from a man (and I am one) it's been the biggest red flag, and the woman was clearly the more responsible and dutiful one when all the facts were considered. I've learned to take these kinds of statements from men with a Mt Everest-sized grain of salt. I suppose it could go the other way too, but I've only ever seen men saying these things.
These same men will go through hell to gaslight and distort the reality and opinions of those around them to paint their former partners as crazy villains, and the courts as unjust. In reality, family court has seen it all and will take literally everything they can into consideration for an impartial decision - it's literally their job.
Of course you are. And you're in here, where you're asked not to speak, beating your chest over how much on the side of women you are. Because what do women know about their preferences? Surely when they say "women only" that includes men who want to speak, right?
Just as a tought play.
You presume something about the character of the person just based on their gender? And you can dismiss what they say because its the common knowledge that they hyperbole things, because of their gender. And that people are free from prejustice, just because its their job?
Im just teasing you, but you see whats happening here right?
Yes. I see two men in a women's only group having long conversations with each other. In the women's only group.
Is there something else I should be seeing?
I know what I want to be seeing. I want to see two posturing baboons realize what's happening here and quietly delete their posts in embarrassment. I also, sadly, know what I expect to be seeing: at least one of the two will make excuses, protest, or otherwise miss the point entirely.
This is a women’s only community by the way.
Oh shit. The post came up when sorting everything-new. Ill let mod to decite whenever they want to delete my bullshit and see my self out.
Just please don't post / comment further, thanks!
Well, you're making some big assumptions there. I made my comment from personal experience of a small number of men in my life who had made similar comments, because I have noticed that they've all said similar things and engaged in similar behavior. It is not a sweeping prejudice. I also happen to know a number of men who handled separation and custody decisions gracefully and didn't try to blame their troubles on their former partner or the court.
I generally tend to believe the courts' decisions in these cases because it's literally all they do, judges tend to have very high level training to avoid being tainted by biases, and the public is extremely sensitive to matters of judicial impartiality. For someone who was just ruled against, complaining about the system that made that ruling is such low hanging fruit in that moment. Just because someone is butthurt doesn't mean the system isn't working, and it doesn't mean they're in the right.
do you think that could be a symptom of men feeling like there's no point even trying if they're just gonna lose?
Then they’re pretty weak men who have failed as fathers.
Men who seek custody and aren’t abusive are usually awarded custody of some kind.
So are you saying that men that loose custody are weak and its their fault? So in a way its the victims fault? Huh. Never tought it that way.
I truly belive in equality, but i cant deny, that its funny how its often the same arguments in the both end of the spectrum.
No, men that choose to not seek custody and abandon their children because of a misconception are weak and bad fathers.