Chapotraphouse

he saw the latest marvel slop and thought it was a good idea

Uranium. Right? We have the best uranium. We have so much of it, you wouldn’t believe it. People say, 'Sir, what are you doing with all that uranium?' I say, we’re making supersoldiers. The best supersoldiers.

Now, the radical left - they’ll say, 'Oh, it’s dangerous, you can’t expose people to radiation.' Wrong. I’ve seen the movie. You know the one? With the guy? He gets the radiation and then, bam! He’s unbeatable. He’s got the strength, the speed. The skin. Very tough skin. They say my skin is very tough, by the way.

But the lying media, they hear 'uranium' and they panic. They say, 'Trump wants to give our troops cancer.' I'm not going to give them cancer. My uncle - a very smart man, very smart - he told me all about uranium. He told me about nuclear power. Beautiful big towers. I want to give them power. Tremendous power. We’re going to have soldiers who can lift a tank over their heads. I’ve seen the schematics. They’re beautiful schematics. I said to the generals, ‘Why aren’t we doing this?’ They said, 'Sir, the Geneva Convention…' I said, 'Forget the Convention. We’re making a new one. The Trump Convention.' It’s going to be much better, with much more winning.