How can I deal with not being able to help with other people's problems whom I care about? (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago by dingus@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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Hi all. Apologies if this isn't the right community for this type of question. Just let me know and I'll remove it.

Recently I've been struggling a bit. There are a few people in my life right know who I care deeply about. They are going through some very rough times right now. (Ex: money issues, sick relatives, etc.)

I am very frustrated because I hear about what's going on all the time and I am powerless to do anything to help. The advice I've had in the past is "just be a friend and be there for them," but there is only so far I am mentally and even physically able to go with that. All I want to do is to fix it and make it better for them but I can't.

And it's been making me go a bit crazy tbh. It's pretty narcissistic of me to be reacting this way, but I can't help it. I don't tell these people that I am stressed out because of them and I don't tell them that it is affecting me in any way. It's such an asshole move for me to be feeling this way but I just don't know how to get out of it.

I try to be nice and friendly all the time, but it's killing me. I just want to be able to help but I can't. I'm completely and totally powerless.

Surely there are those of you out there who care about others and have run into this issue before. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do? "Just be a friend" doesn't help my mental state or do anything for any of the issues that any of us have.

Thanks all.

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[-] Unsustainable@lemmy.today -2 points 10 months ago

The serenity prayer can help set your course. You don't have to be religious to understand it and use it as a tool for your life.

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I had several more paragraphs to say, but I deleted them. The prayer says it all, if you just sit with it for a while.

[-] Terevos@lemm.ee -1 points 10 months ago

Absolutely true.

this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023

69 points (97.3% liked)

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