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submitted 10 months ago by dvtt@lemmings.world to c/news@lemmy.world
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[-] TheWoozy@lemmy.world 86 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If I hadn't met my wife 30+ years ago, I can see how I might have become a sort of paleo-proto-incel...maybe just more of a bitter old maid of a man that no woman would want to be around. I do feel for the incels. They certainly aren't happy. There's something unhealthy about a society that produces so damn many of them.

[-] Nataratata@lemmy.world 56 points 10 months ago

Yeah, I don't know. I feel much more sorry for the girls and women who get hit by that hatred. And they definitely do. Online and sometimes offline as well. I see it in school (in Germany) how some boys as young as 12 already bought into the incel narratives and treat the girls accordingly. This has to be stomped out.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 32 points 10 months ago

I pity the girls who get treated horribly and I pity the incels who do it because they're deeply unhappy people. My pity doesn't justify what they do about their unhappiness, but it is a sad state of affairs all around.

[-] rikudou@lemmings.world 28 points 10 months ago

That's part of why they feel like they don't belong and hate the world. No one is saying you should excuse their actions or that you should not prosecute them. I agree that this has to be stomped out, but treating symptoms instead of the causes only goes so far.

[-] blazeknave@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Everyone close to me was this. We went outside though and weren't bombarded by screens 24/7. Had space to think and learn and solve and grow. Instead of echo chambers of ppl comprised of the worst parts of ourselves.

[-] clemdemort@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago

But if there are so many male incels that means there must be many female incels, where are they?

[-] PM_ME_FEET_PICS@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago

The incel forums and the term coined was originally created by a women.

Also, have you not heard of femcels? Have you not seen that toxic XY subreddit?

[-] clemdemort@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Makes sense yeah, it's just that I see way more male incels online than femcells, I don't really know all the ins and outs of Reddit despite having used it for five years lol, is it the twoX chromosome sub?

[-] Grumpy@sh.itjust.works -5 points 10 months ago

Funny thing is... there isn't. Its easy for a woman to get laid if she chooses to. She can go on any dating app, like bunch of dudes and an average girl could easily have a different guy every night.

The single female population, albeit sizable too ofc, hasn't had much of a change as a percentage over the years. Single male population is however skyrocketing.

Two thirds of male under 30 are single. But only one third of female under 30 are single over a past year of time. You could theorize women are simply dating older now, which may be true, but wouldn't account for such drastic disparity. Also this gap exists in 30 to 40 bracket too, though much smaller.

Most simple answer is that they're sharing men, whether they realize it or not.

We know from dating apps that vast majority of women only select on very few percent of men. So the most attractive men are essentially having multiple women at the same time or at round robin (it's not cheating). Polygamy is pretty much coming back. In some other countries like china, polygamy has become an open secret for the rich.

[-] dragonflyteaparty@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Its easy for a woman to get laid if she chooses to. She can go on any dating app, like bunch of dudes and an average girl could easily have a different guy every night.

That's ridiculous nonsense. It's completely untrue. The face that you think any average woman can have sex with any man she meets every single night of the week just shows how shallow you think people really are. No, any average woman can have sex with any man she meets every single night of the week. This is just "women have it easy and have their pick of any man ever".

But even if you ignore that, what guarantee do those women have of being safe? What's their guarantee of not being choked their first time with someone new? That's a real, common thing happening with people these days, all the way down to the teen years. My sister has had this happen to her multiple times and there are countless accounts online to the point there are articles and studies written about the subject. What's their guarantee of even an orgasm (given the actual, proven orgasm gap) or even getting raped if they say no?

Sure, you could say any average woman could have sex. And she'd be risking her safety and potentially life for the high possibility of bad sex. But sure, go on about how easy it is for women to get laid.

[-] Grumpy@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

I didn't say any average woman can have sex with any man she meets. I said an average woman can have sex with a man every night. That's extremely different. They can send a message to 100 different guys every day on dating app and straight up ask for sex. Guaranteed at least 1 guy will say yes. People have tested this. This is absolutely true.

There are real women who's imo pretty below average looking do this on regular basis. With hundreds of past sex-partners.

But even if you ignore that, what guarantee do those women have of being safe?

There isn't. That's irrelevant though. What guarantee do I have that I would save a safe time getting anywhere by car? There isn't. Why do you seek for a guarantee in anything anyway? That's pointless and irrational. What guarantee does a guy have that when he meets up, there's actually just bunch of muggers? There isn't. That happens too btw.

You meet somewhere public & safe, take your time to vet, and then act on the perceived risk and reward. That's how life works. There's never a guarantee of anything in life.

But that's still vastly easier than getting 0 matches and never having a chance to begin with. Fact is, women do match on dating apps, and they do go on dates, and they do have sex. Stats prove this. Men do not get anywhere near as much in any of the stats.

Make no mistake, I'm not saying people are having easy time getting genuine relationships. Dating apps ruin it for everyone. But if you don't think women have it easier, you are completely ignorant to the stats that's we're seeing.

[-] dragonflyteaparty@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago

How in the world is safety irrelevant? Or are you just assuming that men will readily jump an average looking woman who wants sex because he's just that shallow? It seems to me you're speaking very poorly of men while trying to paint women as "having it easy". Somehow, I don't think sex that threatens my life is "easy" and I don't think of that threat at irrelevant.

[-] Grumpy@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You seriously have a reading comprehension problem.

  • I never said safety is irrelevant. I said guarantee is irrelevant.
  • I never assumed men will readily jump on an average looking woman. I said it's been tested.
  • People seeking casual sex has nothing to do with shallowness. You brought that out of nowhere.
  • I never spoke poorly of men.
  • I never said women have it easy. In fact, I distinctively said they do not. I said they have it easier.

Nothing you argued about since the beginning is based on what I said. Learn to read. Or fuck off.

this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
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