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Finding a group
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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How do adults find a group? I haven't played in 15 years (since I graduated from college). In theory I'm willing to DM, but I never have before so I'm afraid that I'd be terrible. I'm not sure I'm willing to risk embarrassing myself like that in front of people I don't know.
A guy I know says he does free-form roleplaying with ChatGPT but that seems kind of sad - I'm not ready to give up on having a human connection.
Step 1: Learn to DM Step 2: Ask literally every person you meet to play
After 5-10 years you'll have 2 people with waning interest and little time to play at a table.
And they're both flakier than croissants.
Bonus points if they're French.
Fewer bonus points if they're French-Canadian.
Hey, they're not flaky, they're just on their mandated break. And then on strike.
an ideal we can all aspire to
I'm on strike from striking until there's a mandated break for strikes
Just go to your friendly local game shop (which has a play area) on DnD night, if they have none talk to the owner and get it going. I'd almost always had a full table when I did so. The hard part is showing up.
I used to do that, but all of the DMs running those games were sadists who thought the game is the DM vs the players and actively tried their best to TPK every session. It was bad enough that I quit going after a few sessions with the 2 different groups there.
A DM can always TPK the party, so there’s no game in that. I think you just encountered a different playstyle than your preferred one. Some people like mechanical dungeon crawls where everyone is expected to have one or two backup characters on hand because death happens.
These guys were hostile towards players. I'll give you an example. I rolled a 1 on an attack against a goblin that was fleeing. The DM decided that a 1 meant I accidentally hit another player who was not even close to the goblin. He made me roll to see if I overcame the players AC and I rolled a 20, which he said meant I crit the other player. Then he had me roll for damage and I rolled max damage and killed the other player. It was that player's first time playing and they had spent a ton of time creating their character. That was when I decided I didn't want to play with that DM any more. Deciding I hit another player all the way across the room was hostile, and then forcing a crit was icing on the cake. Actually having me outright kill another player when I was attacking a goblin with eldridtch blast is just ridiculous.
A critical fumble system is in use at many tables including my own. No where near as extreme a thing as you believe it to be.
I'm familiar with the system, it's in the rulebook. It's his decisions on how to handle it by attacking another brand new player that I disliked, especially since that sort of thing was common for him and he seemed to get enjoyment from it. If you as a DM get enjoyment from killing your players then you're not the DM for me. I've played D&D off and on for 35 years, and those were the only two DMs I've played with that were actively trying to kill their players. Not my thing, which is why I don't play there anymore.
Option 1: Take the plunge as a DM, announce before hand that you're new at this. Everyone who thinks they can do better is free to give it a try.
Option 2: Local Game Store.
Option 3: reddit /r/lfg. Google how to turn a search into an RSS stream, set up a search, be ready to jump into worthwhile-seeming posts quickly. Be ready to go through a few bad/mediocre groups until you find something that clicks.
If you want dm here is two tips. 1. Be honest that you lack experience. There is few dm compare to how many players there is that wants to play. That there is tons of understanding and patience as they are just happy to finally play.
If you really unsure try find dms that wants to play. They often know how “difficult” it is in the start out and often really starved on being a player and dying to play.
Go for one shots like The Lost Mine of Phandelver. Great prewritten adventure that takes like 4 sessions(you could go like one part if you really unsure). If it is awful then you never have to see them after that.
If it went okay you can do same one again and this time it will go much better.
If you loved it and you group you can often continue. If you absolutely hated it then you never have to dm again but now you know that.
Au contraire mon ami. Perfect strangers are easier to cut off. Id suggest to play online. Heh, if you want a guinnea pig if our schedules align I could be one player that is fine with helping a player join us on the other side.
One of us, one of us, one of us.
I can even teach you a few tricks with roll20 for example.
Hit me up if youre interested. Im not kidding, I am willing to help as long as we find the time to do so. I am a DM and a player
Go to game stores and ask the staff. Go to conventions. Google for professional DM's. Sign up on roll20 and look for open games. Have some kids and start running games for them. (This one's more work.)
By being active in some community For example people got interested in role-playing games in the Ravenclaw community run discord for Hogwarts legacy when people asked about role-playing games There are also d&d and pathfinder youtube channels which have discords where you could ask for players
Sadly it takes a bit more effort than the days where people joined after school stuff for this stuff
I've always had success at tabletop roleplay forums, local games stores or Facebook groups etc.
As a DM I've been consistently been finding engaged and reliable players in the few places I lived during the last 15 years.
It's not hard but I give myself permession to not allow players into the group that I don't think fit. That way you will normally end up with a decent bunch of people. And make some friends too on top of a dnd group.
My girlfriend signed us up for a local dnd club
Everyone is terrible at first, as long as you set expectations and you have a mature group I don't think your lack of experience will be a problem. Once you have done it a handful of times you'll get the hang of it and find a style that works for you.
One shots are a great way to try it out without promising yourself to an extended campaign.