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this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
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me_irl
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What could go wrong?
Seriously, tell me all the ways it could go wrong. It makes me happy thinking about it.
A micro meteoroid breeches the hull at sublight speed in transit.
Heat shields made by the lowest bidder, when landing.
Based SpaceX employees fail to stock the Habs with food/seeds, as a joke.
Ego-driven power struggle among the largest gathering of psychopathic narcissists in the Sol System.
Aliens.
Don't forget to control the spaceship with a 10 year old Madcatz controller!
With the cheapo dollar store AA batteries.
No Aliens. Aliens would be too cool for those folks. They should die in space where their obscene wealth cannot help them.
Kinda hoping for a Xenomorph or "The Thing" scenario.
Too quick and no opportunity for personal regret.
Nothing is scarier than the Xenomorph or āThe Thingā.
Literal Nothing. The Vacuum of Space.
It wasn't as cool as you'd think, the aliens just fired an EMP at their ship
Aren't all speeds sublight speed?
I mean yes but maybe it's just really close to light speed.
It's always something banal.
I bet on billionaires ignoring the poor guy pilot's instructions. Shitting in zip packs and letting them stay around like NASA? Why wouldn't they just drop these out?
Oh no, they had a huge leak of oxygen.
Oh no, they tried to restore it directly from a tank, and it burst into flames after someone made a spark.
Oh no, top Wall Street guys are either suffocating or burning at the same time.
Oh no, someone, probably Elon, got out in a spacesuit, and he has 600.00 seconds to observe the Mars, the Moon, the Earth and other stars and planets before his personal supply of oxygen ends. He was afraid of it happening like this, so he got a plan B. A gun, to be precise.
Oh no, he missed. He shot his jaw off and broke the headscreen of his spacesuit. The vacuum sucked the air out of him, and then his lungs fell through his bloody mouth. Kneeled, with his eyes popped and his guts out of his throat, he had no chance to see the Earth.
The Earth, that just keeps spinning without him, ignorant of his fate. And that it is actually getting better, greener without him and his friends.
Before shooting himself, he thought, sweating and crying, if someone back there would care. And yes, we would. Because we care. And we would put his suit and his meat into different cosmic garbage containers.
Hope I served you a little mentalgasm