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Found this in my folder rule (also you are loved AND valid)
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this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2023
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What sort of behavior does the salad represent? Catcalling? Something else?
Trans women conforming to traditional gender norms in order to be more accepted by society/to feel internal validation because those things are they they grew up thinking a woman should be like, is what they mean
I.e. the housewife, traditionally "feminine" activities, having somewhat backwards thoughts about a woman's "purpose"
I think the underlying theme meant to be picked up here is it's attention. Guys don't get attention more often than not so when a guy transitions and receives that attention they absolutely love it. Whereas cis women receive this attention from the beginning and it's gotten old to them.
It's not just that it's gotten old for many cis women, I think it's because a lot of cis women have grappled with the kind of internalised misogyny that makes misogyny feel weirdly validating. It's not just attention, it's patriarchal oppression and the thing about oppression is that it's common to crave the approval from the same society that shuns and subjugates, even when it's clear that you'll never be able to attain the ideal they expect of you. Hell, especially then.
Even though I know it's toxic and harmful to even entertain some ideas, I can't deny that I still feel the pressure. Misogyny is so insidious that sometimes I feel like maybe it'd be easier if I just went with the flow and stopped fighting it, but I've gone through that pattern before and there is life worth living at the end of that path.
Catcalling is a good example. When I was early on in transition catcalling felt uncomfortable, but I'd often walk away feeling like someone saw me as an attractive woman, which was a new validating experience and ultimately that outweighed the discomfort. After some more time, now that that's more common, the validation has worn thin and now it's just uncomfortable.