36
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
36 points (97.4% liked)
Ask Men
1105 readers
6 users here now
A community to ask men questions and discuss any and all issues relating to them.
Unlocking Perspectives, Advice, and Empowerment for Men Everywhere.
Rules
Follow the rules of lemmy.world, which can be found here.
Additionally:
- Be respectful and inclusive.
- No harassment, hate speech, or trolling.
- Engage in constructive discussions.
- Share relevant content.
- Follow guidelines and moderators' instructions.
- Use appropriate language and tone.
- Report violations.
- Foster a continuous learning environment.
Notes
- The title of your post should contain the actual question being asked.
P.S, Would you like to help with moderating AskMen? Send a PM to the top mod.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Introverted late GenX/early millennial cis het male here. I didn't date much, but I had a pretty evenly mixed and diverse friend group. It helps the most that I moved from a small town to a major metropolitan area, which greatly expanded my friend group. I met one girlfriend when she was visiting her cousin and we hit it off. I met my wife at a friend's wedding, but we didn't start dating until two years later.
My advice to younger ones looking for love is this: widen out your friend group. Diversify in age, gender, race, and culture of origin. Not to find romantic partners in those areas, but to widen your in-person social network. I learned so much about my own romantic needs through my friendships with others. I got called out on creepy behavior by friends that were girls, I got kind advice on grooming by older guy friends. I adjusted my behaviors through simple association. None of that would have happened if I had stayed in my comfort zone (playing Xbox with my fellow nerds). And as I met friends of friends, I sometimes clicked with one on a romantic level. Not many, and definitely not all, and sometimes I was rejected, but that's life, right?
Today I've been married for over a decade. Some of the friendships I made have lasted, some have not. That didn't make them less valuable. I acknowledge that I'm coming from a different era. The way I made friends may not work today. At the time it was organic. I recognized my own nature to withdraw from people, and actively worked against it. If an invitation came, I accepted. I don't know if invitations would come today in person, but if you have some friends that are social media savvy that could be your in