Ask Men

Sorry for the super odd question - I started wondering when writing from a male character's perspective - but yeah, does it feel different to have tears running down your face with a beard vs. without? What happens to tears when they reach your beard? Do they hang on to the first few hair they touch, or do they run through the beard?

Let's say there is a 28-year-old woman with a 6-figure job dating a 22-year-old in college who may have a part-time job while in school and still lives with their parents. How would you feel about this relationship? Would you wonder what the woman sees in the guy?

I feel like my family is super hypocritical when it comes to this. My mom, aunt, and cousin tell me things like:

“You need to bring something to the table in a relationship.”

“You both need to pour into each other.”

“You need a job to date.”

Etc., etc.

Okay — so today we were talking about wealthy people and what we’d do if we had hundreds of millions or even a billion dollars. I said I’d probably send my kids to an elite private school. They asked, “Why?”

I said, “My son wouldn’t date a Starbucks barista, and my daughter wouldn’t date the pizza guy.”

These same family members immediately said that was classist and wrong, and that money shouldn’t be a determining factor in a relationship.

…Umm, what?!

These were the same people who said: “You need to bring something to the table.” “You both need to pour into each other.”

Okay — then why wouldn’t the same logic apply to me in this scenario? What would some pizza delivery guy bring to the table for a billionaire heiress? Same with my son. If anything, shouldn’t he be dating someone who also comes from a wealthy or noble family?

I changed the scenario again and asked them: “If I were a lawyer or had some other high-paying job, and I chose not to date a poor woman — is that wrong?”

They said it was wrong and dumb.

Do you see the glaring hypocrisy?

Edit: What would you think about a 28 year old wealthy woman dating a 22 year old college student? Do you think the 22 year old could not bring anything to their relationship?

If you were extremely wealthy (hundreds of millions or over a billion), you wouldn't be famous; you would just be a very wealthy person (lottery, business, investing, high-income job, whatever). Would your extended family know you are wealthy, or would you be very vague around them and not flash your wealth?

My uncle is hosting Thanksgiving; there are 18 people going, including my parents, and I truly do not want to go.

Football fans who don’t have a ‘favorite’ NFL team — why is this?

Clark and Lois are not as attentive to Jon's needs as they are to Jordan's, but their reaction (or lack thereof) to Jon breaking his arm was particularly egregious. One line that stood out to me was when Lois said, "It could have been worse," in response to Jon being upset about getting hurt and possibly not being able to play football again. It came across as incredibly dismissive and callous. This is compounded by the fact that neither of them bothered to check on Jon when he stormed off. (In fact, he is not seen again for the remainder of the episode.) In short, Jordan seems to get all the attention and support, while Jon is basically expected to take everything on the chin while also being a "good brother".

Don't get me started on the XK. Jon doing drugs is not wrong, especially in comparison to all the lies Clark and Lois told them. Jonathan has no powers, and Jordan does. Clarke spends more time with Jordan. He doesn’t realise that he’s doing real harm by spending most of his time with Jordan. That’s why he took the drug in the first place, but of course Clark doesn't care about this.

Honestly, Clark was a terrible father. Logan Roy from Succession is objectively and factually the better father because at least his kids get nice clothes, nice cars, jets, luxury, etc.; their lives are 100% better than Jonathan's.

If your girlfriend makes a lot more than you, and she pays for your dates, trips, etc., do you feel bad about it or no?

https://old.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/1o1juf3/how_would_you_react_if_you_were_in_this_situation/nihgrgs/

That thread on that post surprised me.

How many CIS men here use testosterone for gender affirming care ?

I’m writing an 18+ superhero story. My main character is a young man/woman (I don’t know their gender yet). They are a stripper and get powers from overdosing on a street drug that gives you superpowers. After that, their 31-year-old boyfriend dies (he’s older than my main character). My character decides to find his killer and originally plans to kill them but chooses justice over revenge and hands them over to the police, and then they decide to become a superhero vigilante.

Really this origin story is about love and justice VS revenge. It’s a young man or woman in love with a slightly older man or woman with baggage, and when they are murdered, my main character with their superpowers has to decide how they move forward. They know they are taking the law into their own hands, but will he/she choose revenge or justice? Will they let their hate and grief control them to murder the killer, or do the right thing and honor the boyfriend/girlfriend and bring their killer to justice?

It's about how these people murdered this innocent man/woman that my main character loved. The pain you gave was unprovoked, but despite all this, they know the boyfriend/girlfriend wouldn't want them to become a murderer and get revenge, so they decide to send them to prison. They choose justice despite in their hearts wanting to kill them.

What could make the tragedy even heavier is if, before the person is killed, they cheat on their partner with an ex. They get into a heated argument with that ex, yell, and then immediately regret it. Feeling awful about what happened, they confess everything to their partner and genuinely beg for forgiveness. But the partner leaves. Heartbroken and jealous, knowing the person truly loved their partner more, the ex kills them. This adds to the survivor’s guilt—if they had stayed, they might’ve saved them. It also brings a more mature layer to the relationship, showing how people can make a terrible mistake, feel genuine remorse, and still seek forgiveness.

How old do you think my character is?

Do you think 21-, 22- and 23-year-old women and men should be allowed to consent to sex with older adults 10-20 years older than them? Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. One could argue that an adult in their 40s or 50s who chooses to date someone 21-23 or 22-24 deserves to die. I have heard these arguments before.

What do you think?

I made a post on Showerthoughts saying if you are a guy and you are a virgin at 22 years old, you are fucked because most women in their 20s have sexual experience, so if you are a 22-year-old guy, a woman who’s 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, or 30 wouldn’t want to date you because they have sexual experience already.

However, I could be wrong, so do some women with sexual experience date a virgin? If so, why?

cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/46807163

Since this post posted in /c/womensstuff, a community that prohibits male participation, showed up on the front page of All I'm cross-posting it to a space where men can chime in and answer/discuss it freely.

So before anything I'm a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I'd like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I've been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don't understand what they want.

I’m a 21-year-old from a lower-middle-class family, and ever since I finished my intermediate studies from a College (Pakistan) in 2023, I’ve carried a dream in my heart: to walk the leafy quad of a reputable university, to laugh with new friends in the cafeteria, to stay up late talking about life—and to build a future on my own terms. This wasn’t just my dream; it was my mom’s too. I carry her hopes with me every time I sit down to study.

But life had other plans. In 2023, when fees and expenses loomed larger than our savings, my family couldn’t afford to send me on that path. So I put my dream on hold and took a job instead. I started at ₨35,000 per month—and over the last year, through long nights and early mornings, I’ve fought my way up to ₨60,000. I work 8 PM–5 AM, head straight to the gym at 6 AM to clear my head, grab a quick bite, and try to catch 2–3 hours of sleep before doing it all again.

Now, at last, I feel ready to leap—and I want to enroll full-time. But the schedule I’m looking at scares me:

Work: 8 PM–5 AM, five nights a week

Gym: 6 AM–7 AM, for my physical and mental health

University: 8 PM–2 AM lectures, 30–40 km from home, four days a week

Sleep: Only about 2–3 hours a day

Commitment: This marathon would run for the next four years

I know the risks all too well: no safety net if I lose my job, the constant strain on my body and mind, the loneliness that comes with an upside-down schedule. And yet, every time I imagine my mom’s proud smile at my convocation, or the sense of belonging I’d feel on campus, I know I have to try.

My questions for you:

Sustainability: Can a nightly grind, early-morning workouts, and full-time studies truly work over four years—without burning out?

Strategies: What practical tips can help me juggle time, health, and finances? Are there ways to carve out rest, build an emergency fund, or streamline my commute?

Shared Journeys: Has anyone else lived this upside-down life—nights at work and days in class? How did you keep going, and what would you change if you could?

I pour these words out with hope—and with fear. But more than anything, I carry determination: to honor my mom’s dreams, to prove to myself that I am capable of more, and to finally step into the world of campus life I’ve always imagined. Any advice, shared stories, or even just a few words of encouragement would mean the world to me. Thank you for listening.

How do you even deal with this, it's like competing for everything, job, dating basic necessities etc. You slip for a moment and you will be replaced.

So I’m looking for a new set of beard/other clippers as my current one finally fell apart after almost 20 years. I’m looking for a professional, corded one that you can put different size guards on. So Lemmy Men, what are you using?

I have heard people say "would you rather share your emotions with a woman you know or a tree in the woods", but that doesn't really feel like it's an equal question in my head. I am curious if anyone has a better example of the "mens" version of that question.

Just wondering if the average man really does struggle, even if they're fit

I need a male perspective on this.

My husband and I have a healthy sex life, but lately, I’ve been working a lot of grueling night shifts as a pediatric nurse. We’ve committed to helping his sister with her treatment costs, so I’ve been taking on more shifts to contribute.

On Monday, I worked an 8-hour shift that ended at 6 AM. I got home around 6:30, and I’ll admit I wasn’t the quietest since I had to grab my pajamas from outside. I accidentally woke him up, apologized, and got into bed. He was a little annoyed but started initiating. I told him—gently—that I was exhausted, especially since I had just lost an inpatient. But he was clearly frustrated, and he had to be up for work in two hours, so I ended up going along with it.

We talked the next day, and he admitted he’s been feeling frustrated with how often I’ve been turning him down. We used to have sex daily or close to it, but now it’s around four times a week since my schedule changed. He told me that “marital duties” aren’t something you can just neglect based on how you feel in the moment and asked how I would react if he just stopped paying the mortgage because he was “too tired.” (For context, I cover about 45% of it, so it’s not like I’m not contributing financially.)

I get where he’s coming from—he has a high libido, and I know intimacy is important. But I didn’t think saying no when I’m sleep-deprived and emotionally drained was unreasonable. That being said, I’ve seen a lot of men on r/deadbedrooms frustrated with the “I’m tired” excuse, so I’m wondering—do most guys feel this way? Even if a change in circumstances is temporary, does a wife have an obligation to always meet her husband’s needs? What’s actually a “good” reason to say no?

Would really appreciate some honest opinions.

Feel free to also elaborate on life goals that you have achieved or failed to achieve, and how/why that happened!

It occurred to me that, as an adult, I feel I need a reason to invite friends over. My wife thinks this is pitiful. I invited a couple of friends over for a curry and a boardgame night - it was a fine evening - but without that reason of having a shared activity, I'd never have done it.

Jusy wondered if I'm alone in this, and if there's any men out there who DO invite male friends over with no plans or expectations for the evening?

Pic unrelated.