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this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2023
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Unpopular Opinion
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I had a blanket "Cool guys don't look back at explosions" policy to posting on pretty much every other site. I decided to turn over a new leaf on the Fediverse, and try not to post anything I don't actually want a reply to. It does tend to gentle you down a bit. Also, I noticed other people were at least giving themselves a chance to form friendships that way, so yeah, new deal.
The thing that really sucks about social media is how many people are just using you as a vent pillow to scream into. It's amazing that so many people are using so many websites that pretty much amount to somebody else's emotional punching bag.
Wait, how do you form a friendship on sites like this? Best I've had are brief friendly interactions and then I forget their username unless it's one of the novelty accounts, in which case "interactions" feel more like celebrity appearances or like a performance than anything else.
My dude I do not even know. I have managed to be around some people who aren't like me and gathered the strong impression that people were using social media like it was social, and not anti-social, which I am fluent in. So now I am on a brand-new policy, in the dark and stumbling around. All I can tell you is that the other people are using this thing to meet each other and exchange phone numbers eventually like actual friends. Which makes fuckin sense. If you reply back to other people like you are texting, it changes the nature of the thing. We must both be at peace with letting the thread drop, tho.
I must remind you that the normy world has been using social media to find other people to have sex with for a while, basically pull up the app, swipe swipe swipe until you find a friend for the night and put the phone away, instead of letting the demon consume the next 4 hours somehow. There's a whole nother paradigm. It seems more entertaining.
But yeah, I think you just treat threads like chats, be cool, and see what happens eventually.
You just avoid that Reddit thing where you come in with your 1500 word truth dunk, that ain't it.
Yeah it's crazy to me that people can find a sexual partner on a site like Reddit (or are you just talking about tinder and apps like that?). Meanwhile I'm here avoiding even sharing my province, though I was open about being in Canada. Probably doesn't help that my desire to be social itself waxes and wanes.
No, I do mean sites like Reddit. The advanced users are making everything act like a dating site when they need it to, because things like tinder don't work for everyone, so it's double crazy that they're making Reddit work for that.
What I was truly referring to is Discord, and all those little communities in there, lots of people making their connections, not just sex, but international friend networking. Snapchat, group chats, all that, they're busy doing the same, there. Meanwhile, I live as a ghost, interacting with dozens of people a day online, thousands over the years, with nothing much to show for it.
Even out in the real world I'm the kinda guy who can work some place for two years and leave with no new numbers in my phone. It does keep me out of the drama, but I don't feel I'm striking a balance, either.
So yeah, I wish I knew.
Ooooh discord makes a lot of sense. It's just the modern version of chat rooms which is where people were hooking up long before tinder was a thing and "a/s/l?" was one of the most common greetings between people just meeting for the first time.
I was always confused by why people wanted to know my age, sex, and preferred language, but I played along.
I think Lemmy will be a bit like that too, but I can see it happen for example smaller instances where you interact with the same users over and over on the local communities, more than on the other site.
Maybe I should get in the habit of looking at user names lol. I usually just think of everyone on here as anonymous.
I'm proud of you trying to better yourself.