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this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2023
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If you wanted to participate in the discussion with a less abrasive nature, you could share that story from your mother's perspeyand how it became your own personal culture.
However, I would consider it not to be your culture, but a family tradition. Your culture is more rooted in community than just your own family in my opinion.
I think if you open your mind a little you may discover someone challenging your beliefs can be helpful to a conversation.
That’s part of the culture I grew up in: arguing and challenging each other as part of talking. Feel free to try it out or adopt it.
You know I understand you. That was the way with me too. It took me a long time into adulthood to tone that down as I wasn't making friends and people seemed to think I was an asshole. It really sucked cause I seriously didn't mean any harm or disrespect, but most took it that way for some reason.
Now, after endless questioning of myself, I've learned to adapt to my audience.
I have a really hard time with it because it seems so non-spontaneous. What even is the point of discussing things without disagreement?
I see these conversations that are just people agreeing with each other and I just don’t get it. I don’t want to be a part of it.
But I don’t want to be alone.
Err, I don't see a point in disagreeing for the sake of it - I have a similar problem to you though. I get awkward or silent when I don't have anything original, new or even interesting to say, like you are uncomfortable with 'agreement'.
No I don’t disagree for the sake of it. Most conversations I agree with … but I don’t say it. It’s when I disagree genuinely, that I speak up.
Persuasion works best when you work off commonalities rather than differences. Though I understand you're trying to go for combative argumentation.
I know that. I’m a salesman. I don’t talk to my customers like I talk to people here, because when I’m talking to a customer my goal is persuasion.
I am very suspect of persuasion as a motivation for conversing socially. I can do it to make money, but who am I to think that others accepting my ideas is more important than honesty? I might be wrong! If I follow the safe path that makes everybody like me, when will I ever know that I’m wrong?
I’ve always been an outsider. Maybe I always will be, because this always nice stuff just seems slimy to me. It’s exactly how the villains in the cartoons I watched growing up behaved: everybody’s friend, always pleasant, saying the most popular thing.
maybe read up on softening statements
Thank you, by the way
I’ll check it out, thanks