23

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1227654

That is, do you feel like your worth as a man is related to your practical utility?

top 13 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] teichflamme@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

I'd say the expectation to be a strong provider is still very present in society.

[-] Nippledippers7@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago
[-] JingJang@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Interesting timing for this question: My answer is definitely "Yes". I am dealing with this a lot right now in my life.

It's interesting because if you'd have asked me four years ago I'd have said 'no', but a lot has changed and with the changes comes new perspective.

My advice to everyone reading this is to understand that things can change so reading everyone's answers might be very enlightening, someday, if not today.

[-] JGrffn@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I feel like I've been falling into that stereotype for a while, but it's purely because I DON'T want to be that, ironically. As a bilingual software dev in a third world country, being able to get jobs with US-level salaries means I earn more than pretty much every salaried worker in my country, and probably still earn more than most business owners as well. I have the kind of salaries that congresspeople of my country earn. I can easily 2x my salary as well, if I sacrifice mental health. This means I'm the provider by default. Thus, I feel the pressure of having to be the provider, not because of gender roles, but because having such ease of access to high salaries puts me there. The goal, as it should be for everyone, is to save up and retire young, to not work ever again. I don't care what my role is as long as I get me and my family there, but I do indeed feel that pressure to provide.

[-] pumpkinseedoil@feddit.de 1 points 6 months ago

Why should the goal for everyone be to retire young? There are plenty of people who enjoy their job.

[-] Blamemeta@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I feel it in my very bones. No need for outside pressure, but I also like being able to eat.

[-] Kyrinar@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

The conditioning is definitely there, and I would be lying if I said I never felt this. Self reflection is sort of my thing, though, prettty much to a fault. That combined with being lucky enough to have (recently) married a woman who sees me for much more than that goes a long way.

EDIT: Whoops, just saw this was an older post. Sorry! Was buzzed and doom scrolling through random subs

[-] Ersatz86@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Abilities, skill set, work ethic, and motivation are all elements by which I judge character, man or woman.

Any pressure to perform for me is largely self-imposed. I want to be useful and make a difference. It’s integral to who I am as husband, father, son, brother, friend, and teammate.

[-] slazer2au@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

No, I don't.

[-] keeb420@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah. All the time. Even when I'm not feeling up to it.

[-] _cyb3rfunk_@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I put that pressure on myself because I think that's something everyone should strive for, regardless of gender.

[-] glad_cat 1 points 1 year ago

Not really, men are not pressured to be useful anymore. They are forced for a lot of things, but usefulness is not the most important, even more since women have jobs and can do the same things as men. The pressure was there up to the 50s but it started to fade down after the sexual revolution.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago

I feel driven to be a useful man.

I don’t feel any pressure whatsoever and honestly I would appreciate a little, if only to see some agreement between me and my surroundings.

this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
23 points (92.6% liked)

Ask Men

1105 readers
4 users here now

A community to ask men questions and discuss any and all issues relating to them.

Unlocking Perspectives, Advice, and Empowerment for Men Everywhere.

Rules

Follow the rules of lemmy.world, which can be found here.

Additionally:

  1. Be respectful and inclusive.
  2. No harassment, hate speech, or trolling.
  3. Engage in constructive discussions.
  4. Share relevant content.
  5. Follow guidelines and moderators' instructions.
  6. Use appropriate language and tone.
  7. Report violations.
  8. Foster a continuous learning environment.

Notes

P.S, Would you like to help with moderating AskMen? Send a PM to the top mod.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS