Unsure if this counts as a quote but here goes.
If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best
Absolute fucking nonsense.
The worst part of this quote is that, in the original, she (Marilyn Monroe) actually framed her "worst":
>I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
So in the context it sounds more like "here are my flaws - take me or leave me, but you won't change me". Which sounds reasonable. But without that context it sounds more like "I'm entitled because I like to pretend that I'm above other people".
Not see it. But I hear this one.
"it's always in the last place you look"
No shit Sherlock. Why would I keep looking after I found it?
I always thought that was the joke?
I must say, in retrospect it kind of seems obvious, but this has somehow blown my mind
What people really mean when they say this is
it’s in the last place you think to look
This again is a misnomer because, not just because you stop looking… but because people find it hard to admit things are lost. All part of the half serious, half ridiculous psuedo science of Findology (disclaimer: my own blog)
Embarrassingly it took me years to realize what that quote meant. I had always interpreted it to mean that the item is found in an unexpected place. But of course what it really means is that you stop looking once the item is found, therefore that's the last place you looked 🤦
"We only use x% of our brain."
Simply not true as shown since years by neurology
There are moments where people use more of their bran at once than they usually do.
We call these moments "seizures".
This reminds me of the "you eat X amount of spiders in your sleep every year". It's also been debunked so many times and I see it popping up from time to time.
Even more ironic, this was created by some professor (?) to prove that starting fake viral facts was easy or something...
If you just add the words on average, suddenly it sounds more realistic, because who knows if there's a guy somewhere sleepwalking in a spider infested place
Good old Spiders George
I am surprised no one yet has posted the infuriatingly worthless expression of affectless sympathy:
thoughts and prayers
As a nonnative speaker, the first time I heard the expression was on Bojack Horseman and it confused the hell out of me.
Hard men create easy times.
Easy times create soft men.
Soft men create hard times.
Hard times create hard men.
Man creates dinosaurs
Dinosaurs eat man
Woman inherits the earth
Which is ironically said the most by soft men who grew up in easy times.
"Life's not fair." It seems that more often than not the person saying it is in a position to make the situation fair. Usually it is people in positions of power saying it and it feels more like an excuse for their inaction.
Everything happens for a reason.
…often said with the unspoken implication that it’s a good reason, planned by a higher power, and that you should just meekly accept things and shut up.
"Do or do not, there is no try"
The rallying cry of the kind of person who thinks every hobby has to become a side hustle.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
I don’t see it anymore after leaving the hell that is Reddit, but I saw “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes” multiple times in every thread.
I haven't seen "fuck around and find out" since the old Reddit days, either.
The friggin "definition of insanity" quote that is usually misattributed to Einstein. From some cursory research, a lot of first appearances of the quote come from the 80s, though I saw a few different sources from Narcotics Anonymous pamphlets to mystery novels.
Anything on a decorative sign meant to hang in a house. Examples include “Live, Laugh, Love” (which has already been mentioned) or something about wine.
My least favorite is
Just be yourself!
Even in grade school I knew this was hogwash. I didn't act the same in class as during recess, or in church as when at the dinner table. Exactly which me was I supposed to be? When someone asks, "What am I supposed to do?" They are really asking, "How should I behave?" And if you've never been on a date before, or this is your first job interview, then it's not obvious.
A: "So, how did the interview go?"
B: "Not so well, he threw my resume away, in front of me, and ordered me to leave."
A: "What? Why?"
B: "Well, I did just as your said, I was being myself. I walked in, gave him the ol' finger guns, then started with my best fart joke."
A: "Why the hell would you do that at an interview?"
B: "Because that routine always slays in the dorms and I was trying to be myself."
For me its the one that promoted me to write this, the futurama quote "you're are technically correct, the best kind of correct"
I hate how people use it over at forums, it is repeated ad nauseam, even if it doesn't make much sense. It's probably from people using it constantly that I hate the quote, and not something that has to do with the meaning.
The good old GNU/Linux quote.
I like Stallman's ideas on free software but this whole GNU/Linux thing is an absolute waste of time and I hate how it still gets brought up.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Yeah maybe, but it also makes you stranger.
Also not necessarily true. You might loose a limb and survive, but it could mentally wreck you and you're definitely weaker with one vs. two arms.
Not to mention all the war veterans with PTSD for the rest of their life
"Survival of the fittest" (when used without trying to understand its actual meaning).
"The customer is always right" conveniently missing the second part: "...in matters of taste and style".
Also misinterpreting "customer" as an individual rather than as the aggregate of customer demand.
''what doesn't kill you, make you stronger'' it's just so overused and saturated
"live, laugh, love"
"G stands for graphics, so it's gif with a hard g"
The only thing more meaningless than arguing about how to pronounce gif is using that as an argument, and yet it always gets repeated.
"P stands for photographic, so it's JPEG with an f sound" is the one that gets me
Not to mention it’s a made up rule that doesn’t apply to literally any other acronym (radar, sonar, NASA, NATO, scuba, etc.)
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