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'I felt like a freak because I didn't want children'
(www.bbc.co.uk)
You can’t get yourself sterilised in case some future man wants to use your baby factory.
Chilling.
This happened to me in the USA. I told the doctor I want to be sterilized and neither my husband nor I wanted kids.
He told me it would be unethical. My husband might die and then my new husband would want children. I told him I would not change my mind, and such a man would be incompatible for marriage with me. He told me I’d change my mind. So basically, yes some hypothetical future man would want to use me for a baby factory, that’s why I can’t be sterilized.
I was 30. I’m older now, still don’t want them. I’m too ashamed to ask again for sterilization. My husband has a vasectomy scheduled soon (weird how a doctor had no problem doing that for him. Wonder what the difference is????)
I think the doctor thinks of your husband as a baby factory manager and as he wants the baby factory out of operation it is his choice. Now if he died a new manager could start up the factory again. I know this is extremely fucked up and there is no reason you should not be able to get sterilised but it is a fucked up world we live in.
Get that OB/GYN's statement in writing and then report him.
It was years ago.
Easier said than done, anyway. I was just shocked he said that. I'm sure if I wanted his statement in writing he would have written something like "I don't recommend this for women who have not yet had children because there are plenty of other effective treatments like [etc]" and nobody would care.
Someone at my work was told something similar by a different doctor (in a different state!) that he wouldn't sterilize her because she wasn't married. She had 3 children already in her mid twenties.
Pushing back on this stuff is a battle that shouldn't have to take place on the personal level. We're going backwards in women's healthcare in America, too.
It's so much easier as a man to be child free, aside from women hitting on me telling me what a great dad I'd be.
Yeah, maybe I would be. Don't want it.
Have never pursued sterilization though, might've gotten a small amount of the judgment women get then. Maybe.
When I got sterilized, the doctor asked me if I was in a committed relationship. Told him I was. Then he said that I need to treat this as permanent. Told him it wasn't a problem. He pushed a little more but inevitable told him that if things changed and I ended up with a woman who wanted children, adoption was an option. That ended it for me, and I was able to get the procedure done. I don't know if this is typical for men, but that was my experience.
I got a vasectomy when I was 31 and have never looked back. Would highly recommend it if you're committed to being child free. Was a simple discussion with my (male) GP and after a few questions to make sure I understood the implications and that I had thought it through he gave me the referral.
I really feel bad for women - they have so much more stigma and a harder time with this in general, even in progressive countries.
this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2024
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