This is the key that too many straight men who use words like "friend zone" and "game" and "incel" just don't realise.. don't go hunting for a bride like some caveman. Go make friends. Live your life by doing the things you like, treat women like women not like a prize to be won. Make male and female friends, don't just talk to women who you're attracted to. Find friends, and not with the anticipation that one of them will turn into a girlfriend. "Friend zoned" is what people say when they don't get that they're not owed a relationship, and think that being friends with women is a waste of time. Find friends. Be who you are, be genuine. That's the only way you'll find people who are genuinely interested in spending time with you and not some persona you've adopted. If you want an actual good match of a partner, it's more likely that a friend of yours will match you up with someone than you finding the one by going out like you're on the hunt.

He ended up finding some girl who was an actual prostitute and got him hooked on drugs.

That last line hits like a truck.

I suggested getting a cheap seat at the ballpark

He ended up finding some girl who was an actual prostitute and got him hooked on drugs.

Oof

Woah that story took a turn I Did not expect

Ez secks and drugs. That's better than a relationship.

The true key is…counterintuitive as this sounds, not looking.

Try enjoying yourself, meeting people, doing things you like. People can sense desperation or dishonesty in you when you’re feigning interest or trying to get in their pants. Just…be a decent person, and you can find people who you get along with. It happens more naturally that way and you’re more likely to find…yknow, people you like and who like you.

I think the problem most people have is that they expect things to happen instantaneously

In my experience it's oftentimes men that are looking to date women way more attractive than them. Like some fat slob incel that refuses to date or bang a chubby chick and then gets mad they're not picking up women that are hot AF and upset "nobody will date [them]."

It's stupid, I know a guy on discord just like that. Unattractive fat guy and when I mentioned I think the biggest thing to coupling is being realistic and dating people about the same attractive level ... Dude balked at that. Was like "what about a guy that has a great personality," the man is delusional. No job, on food stamps and just getting by, living in a one bedroom (maybe studio?) apt, slobby and fat then hits the surprise Pikachu face that women don't want to date him. Not to mention his social skills. Talk about a total lack of self awareness.

Sure maybe if you were extremely rich a woman might overlook your physical appearance but let's be realistic here.

That to me is the problem most people have but I agree with the instantaneous thing too - it takes time to get in the groove so to speak. I've seen it go both ways gender wise just picking on my fellow dudes here.

Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a bar either. Try taking a class, joining some sort of athletic thing (jogging, cycling, yoga) volunteering somewhere. Go to a place where you're doing an activity with a group, and the focus isn't dating. Takes the pressure off and allows for getting to know people naturally.

Came here to comment that the fact OOP uses language like "choosing signals" is probably the reason women aren't interested in talking to them.

Couchsurfing got me great friends, girlfriends and eventually my wife.

I should totally try that. It'd be like: "Honey? How long is Rolando going to be staying on our couch? He spends all his time on his laptop giggling at that weird website full of communists and furries..." / "I don't know... Let's... Let's set him up with that friend of yours, I bet that'll get him out of here!"

Just did a class and I was the only guy in it.

It was a welding class.

They should.