this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 159 points 1 week ago

Weird way to tell someone you roofied them.

[–] fox2263@lemmy.world 125 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe got drunk and forgot. Imagine not being a virgin but believing you are

[–] Wildfire0Straggler3@lemm.ee 78 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] somethingsnappy@lemmy.world 87 points 1 week ago

Virgin Gary.

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[–] Manticore@lemmy.nz 117 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Tbh I'd be concerned if he was raped while drunk or unconscious. It is, unfortunately, not so rare. If so, then as far as she's concerned that's 'sex together'. A lot of women perpetrators do not consider themselves rapists because it's 'non-violent' or they believe theyre doing the man a favour.

[–] xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 48 points 1 week ago (3 children)

i personally know two men who were raped this way. One was into the girl and okay with it (they had been messing around before he passed out too)… the other was not and was traumatized by it.

if i know a couple myself, im betting it’s a lot more common than people think.
and there’s a notion that an erection = consent, when it absolutely doesn’t.

if it wasn’t for the much more common violent rape and/or murder that men did to women, this would be addressed a lot more.

sexual dimorphism is weird… especially when litigating. like, pregnancy is one reason raping a woman is “worse” (sorry, i just mean quantitatively… not emotionally)… and a man’s general physical size and strength advantage… risk and fear of harm….
so you can’t really sentence a woman the same as a man in this case and be fair… or maybe it should be exactly equal? i couldn’t say so simply….

this post kinda feels like incel/“men’s rights” bait.

what sucks about them is they take a few good points, mixed with delusions, to crazy conclusions and ruin any chance of reasonable discussion about it.

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

I get what you're stating. I think there's a point to be made on the financial implications in a male rape as well. If the dude is unconscious and raped, if it ends in a pregnancy unknown to the man, woman decides to keep it, she then has a free ticket to get the guy for 18 years of child support. I say this because it happened to a good friend of mine. Woman didn't reach out until the kid was 16, boom, garnished wages for back child support. Completely fucked his financial stability, and the dude was married with 3 kids. He never knew the woman or the kid, literally lived on the other side of the US. There's definitely some improvements that could be made to the current systems.

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[–] poloqualle@feddit.org 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tbh my money is on "anon made shit up"

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Probably wasn't even a girl involved. Fake and gay as usual.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

This. This fucks over statistics so much.

[–] Dogiedog64@lemmy.world 100 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Fake - anon fucks a woman and gets her pregnant Gay - it's 4chan

[–] terraborra@lemmy.nz 70 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Even faker - anon claims to have spoken to a women

[–] Dogiedog64@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

SMH everyone knows women aren't real. Anyone who claims to be one is just a federal agent in disguise.

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Even more faker - anon claims women exist.

Time to hang out in North Dakota with the birds.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 8 points 1 week ago

Gay- anon is a woman

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 94 points 1 week ago (2 children)

As a former raging alcoholic, this is a legitimate concern I have.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 93 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (16 children)

Oh boy oh boy. Story time.

So around 2015 I got a call at work from an ex-girlfriend. I was 100% certain that the first time I had sex with her had occurred in 2008.

She informed me that it was actually in 2007 when we got drunk and ended up crashing at a friends place.

The whole point of her call was to tell me that she had a daughter, and that daughter was mine. I watched that baby for her when she was about 6 months old. It never even crossed my mind.

She had me totally convinced. I called my old friend who informed me that we did in fact have sex night and that he heard us and was annoyed by it. The timing was perfect. Uh oh.

Anyway, I always liked her. I didn’t think I had any reason to distrust her. So, like the fool I am, I just went with it.

She said that she didn’t tell me because of my heavy drinking, drug use, and promiscuity. She didn’t think I was cut out to be a dad, but then she seen through social media how good I was with my kids and decided she was wrong, all these years later. Things started seeming off pretty quick. She told me that a friend of hers passed away in a car accident, and she always told the daughter that he was her father.

Deeper than that, though, she told his family he was the father.

She told me that the little girl was that family’s link to him and that she didn’t want to break their hearts. But she wanted me to know, and she wanted me to have a relationship with my daughter. I thought it was fucked up that she had done that, but I certainly didn’t want to crush some mother’s heart who lost her young son in an accident and miraculously found that he had left a child for her to love.

She said that I could come around and that we would let the kid know when she was older.

We first agreed to meet at a park, I went and sat there for two hours and she never showed up. Then she apologized and said something came up, she wanted to meet at the petting zoo that was in town. I went to the petting zoo, sat there for a while, and she never showed up. She told me that she would be in touch with me, that she was sorry things kept coming up.

At that point, I had still refused to get a cell phone because I am so antisocial. I didn’t want to have to talk to people or answer people when I was outside of my home or my job. I didn’t get a cell phone until 2019, I always used an iPod touch with a VOIP app. So whenever I was left hanging, I just had to wait.

I ended up talking with the kid on the phone a few times, she was a very sweet kid, but very troubled. That trouble I knew, had to come from somewhere.

The last time we scheduled to meet, I got a call the day before. It was her sister.

“angryseal, I have always liked you. When I found out my sister was talking to you again, I couldn’t just sit by and let you get scammed. You are not the first long lost father, you’re probably about the 5th. To give you a clue how awful my sister is, she met a lonely older man who has spent his entire life taking care of his sick mother. He never had time to date, and after his mom passed he went out and had the misfortune of meeting my sister. She was at his house one night and noticed a bank statement with a large number. She hatched a plan and called him up a few weeks later. She told him she had cancer and that she couldn’t afford the surgery and was going to die if she didn’t get it. It was early enough that all she needed was a surgery, and that surgery was 40k. This man gave her 40,000 dollars, she called him one more time to say the surgery was successful and then she ghosted him. She blew all of that money vacationing with another man in Florida. They probably spent half of it on cocaine. You tell my sister that you want a DNA test and you will never hear from her again.”

What!? Ok.

So the next time we spoke, I told her that it wasn’t anything personal, I just didn’t want heartbreak on down the line and I told her I’d like to get a DNA test. “How dare you? What, you don’t trust me? I have never been anything but good to you! You know what?! I’ve done just fine raising her without you up to now and I’ll keep doing fine, you asshole!”

I have never heard from her again.

I still think about that pretty often haha. What a world we live in.

[–] lka1988@sh.itjust.works 65 points 1 week ago

I feel terrible for the kid, she never asked for her mom to be a piece of shit.

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[–] arin@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Don't worry p soft when drunk

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

She dildoed his cum sock or fucking what? How the heck did that happen?

[–] sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago

When its gatcha, Iiiiiiiiiiits gatcha.

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[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

be in uni

be functional alcoholic

forget losing virginity

have child support payments

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I feel like that doesn't count. He's a virgin dad.

Wait, is he Joseph?

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

And more importantly, why were Mary and Joseph married and he still hadn't gotten the poon?

[–] wesker 30 points 1 week ago

Anon is victim of immaculate deception

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago

Identical twin brother

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] lessthanluigi 15 points 1 week ago

Nah, just say it's straight. Let the Heteros have this one.

Def fake tho

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Can you remember all? I remember the place and circumstance for all 6 of mine, at least the first time. That is one of the few memories I can enter at will and know quite a bit about myself and the surroundings like I am there.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago

My first, yes; a few amazing or terrible partners, yes, but I was a slutty bisexual guy in a big city who toured music and comedy internationally for over a decade, who was also depressive and self destructive: so, all — no.

[–] doubledoubt@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A few are crystal clear, the first time with someone special

Most are just a blur, I've run into people who insist we did it, and I believe them, but I don't remember.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 1 week ago

I've run into people who insist we did it, and I believe them, but I don't remember.

That's gotta be a bit of an ego hit for them.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

I can't remember every woman, let alone ever circumstance. After 30 it all becomes a blur. I can account, shit, never mind. Was going to say for the last 6 years, but I'd have to think on it.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 15 points 1 week ago

Yeah I think there's a book about this. Unfortunately it has a rather toxic fan base. That's YA stuff for you.

[–] CaptSatelliteJack@lemy.lol 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bro, it's positive, chill out, that just means the kid has DNA

[–] imaqtpie@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Lol nice one. I guess it should technically be referred to as a paternity test.

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