Gullible

joined 2 years ago
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 hours ago

“Hi, we have a special going today. If you purchase two bails of fishing-”

“Fishing” detected- ASSOCIATION ACTIVATED: ENGAGE PICTURE MOLESTATION MODE

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 points 10 hours ago

Trump loves to sue. May as well make it harder for him.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 27 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I’ll make your grandmother howl like a dog trapped in a burning house if you don’t elucidate me within 5 minutes. My balls are in your court now.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 33 points 13 hours ago (9 children)

I’m not familiar with modern slang. Boy/girlmode, is that when someone is pretending to be their original gender or when they’re trying to put themselves fully in their gender mindspace?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 points 17 hours ago

I ended up introducing many over there to the concept of “gang stalking.” Not my proudest moment, but very on brand.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Irl monster hunter. Metaphorically. (Literally)

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 39 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Most excessively wealthy people don’t wear branded clothes. If you can’t see a label on someone’s clothes, they’re either wearing something from the bargain bin or a 400+ dollar plain t-shirt.

Which is to say, this might catch the millionaires but probably not the billionaires.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

Unfortunately, I was entirely within view the entire time. Unless my cupping them in my hands completely quenched the light, in which case I played extreme peekaboo and therefore snuck up on them.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago

Lofe beats to live to

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I’ve played with them at the zoo. Bitey, but squishier than you’d think. Does that count?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

See, I don’t even understand tailgating. How’re you supposed to see far enough ahead to cut off the next person if your view is exclusively the trunk of an over-tall SUV? It’s just poorly thought out from beginning to end.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Cool if I quote you on that?

 
>Be me working at gamestop
>parent asks for a game called "cod"
>tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" 
there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have
>have ton of copies in the back
>we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free
>she buys three brand new copies of this game
>she comes back after christmas
>all three copies have been opened
>no refund because you opened them 
>a kid out there received 3 copies of a fucking fishing game for Christmas
 
>fixing notebook for a ~70 years old lady 
>comes, pays, asks about gaming tier GPUs for her desktop 
>little took back I inquire about the price range and what 
games, solitaire, sudoku, puzzle games...
>nope, I play the Assasin
>Assassin's creed? 
>yes, on my grandsons console, I just love Venice
>she pauses
>and killing people
369
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
 
>be me
>biohacker focused on male vitality 
>spend years optimizing my life style diet and sleep
>Ice baths
>gigachad testosterone levels achieved
>read some estrogen is absorbed by the man during sex through vaginal fluids 
>read orgasm increases prolactin levels which makes people take on nurturing roles
>stop having sex with wife
>stop taking care of son
>testosterone goes up 21 points
>Deep sleep improves and pulse lowers
>wife won't talk to me
>son cries a lot and grades dropped 
>told son to meditate to regulate his amygdala to avoid his prefrontal cortex from shutting down 

How do you anons deal with the ever growing attacks on masculinity?
 
Anonymous 01/04/14(Sat) 17:46 UTC-5 No. 40237147
>Go see some horror movie years ago with a friend at midnight.
>Theater is empty except some black woman up front.
>she starts yelling.
>"NAW DONT GO IN THERE"
>"WHY YOU DO THAT"
>I yell back "TELL HER"
>"YEAH SEE THIS BOI GETS IT"
>"YEAH I GET IT"
>later, a person dies from being decapitated, the woman screams.
>"OOOOH DAYUM"
>yell back.
>"DO YOU THINK SHE'S DEAD"
>"HOW THE FUCK YOU GON LIVE WITH NO HEAD"
>"I DONT KNOW MAYBE AN AMBULANCE WILL COME"
>"THEY IN THE FUCKIN WOODS"
 
happened yesterday night I’m typing in my room 
i haven't gotten out yet
>be me
>20
>university student
>have a best friend 
>met last year, share a lot of subjects
>naturally spend lots of time with him
>we have a friend group but we mostly stick together
>friends joke about us being gay
>we don't feel insecure and laugh with them
>get called twinks regularly by year two 
>eventually start to do these jokes myself bc my friend is kinda cute
>summer break closing in
>his parents rich
>big house in the mountains 
>they go on a vacation when break starts, leaving him alone 
>he knows my relationship with my parents is fucked, 
invites me over for summer, like last year
>instantly accept
>having a great time, we hike, laze around, play games
>one day we get home completely beat
>decide to throw ourselves a small party
>grab some drinks
>actually get wasted on some fancy shit
>my drunk ass makes more gay jokes
>say we look like boyfriends living together
>friend laughs and says he's going to make things gayer
>he leaves to his room 
>comes back a minute later, in an oversized shirt, 
booty shorts and thigh high socks
>severely drunk at this point but it clicks
>he's been gay the entire time
>never had a girlfriend
>probably took my jokes for flirting
>he is completely drunk and self unaware
>sits on my lap
>ohgodohfuck
226
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
 
>9th grade
>Get first boyfriend
>He wants me to meet his friends
>okay.jpg 
>Halfway to his friends house he tells me, "I dunno if I should have brought you. 
We usually don't allow girls to hang out with us."
>wat
>Meet his friends, they're playing games and everyone seems normal and okay
>Gameplay gets rowdy
>Suddenly dude who won takes out his erect dick and tries to 
shove it into the loser dude's mouth
>wat
>10 minutes later, dickfight
>Winning dude is poking other dudes in the back of their pants with his bare cock
>Quiet dude is kind of secretly stroking his
>Other dudes are either slapping their cocks on someone else or 
slapping someone else's cock
>Ask boyfriend if this is normal
>It is
>wat
Apparently, they were being calmer than usual because I was there
>mfw
692
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
 
11/19/22(Sat)07:22:13 No.71045408
>Tfw boyfriend is asleep 
Why does he do this? Every fucking night?

11/19/22(Sat)07:25:16 No.71045429
>tells me he's not addicted to sleeping 
>goes insane if he doesn't get his daily fix 
>shouts at me for trying to keep him from 
relapsing
 
 
>Get BJ on prom night 
>Week later massive red spot on cock
>Herpes
>Fuck
>doctor say this shit is
uncurable
>No woman will want me
>Struggle with shame and depression
>Lose all interest in sex
>Go years without being with a woman
>Finally regain some self confidence
>Brainwave.exe
>Need woman who already has the disease
>Find old hooker on craigslist
>Looks pretty ragged on the blurred photo
>Has probably had a million diseased cocks in her
>Call her up
>Explain I have herpes
>Tell her I presume she has it too
>Silence
>Then she hangs up

I dont know where to go from here bros
 
 

ANON NOOOO
WE CANT DO THAT UNLESS WE ARE MARRIED

PLEASE MIKU! JUST GRAB MY HAND! I'M GONNA FALL

 
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