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Iraq announces invasion of US to protect America’s freedom from totalitarian regime (www.betootaadvocate.com)

submitted 1 week ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

11 comments fedilink hide all child comments

The West Asian country of Iraq has today dropped a bombshell on the international community.

Iraq’s government has announced an imminent plan to mount a ground, aerial and naval invasion of the North American country the United States of America.

A government spokesperson explained that the military action is ‘peace-keeping in nature’ and designed to protect the sanctity of democracy.

“If we allow totalitarian regimes to flourish in countries like America, then we threatened the stability of the entire region and the global community,” said the spokesperson. [...]

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[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

they'd be greeted as libetators.

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves lol

[–] MHLoppy@fedia.io 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

libetators

You got something against Iraqi forces being described as Liberian potatoes?

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

LIB-TA-TORS. Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 2 points 1 week ago

I mean, I guess they could be? I guess we need to do some sciency tests on them.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My friend, the state security forces of the American fascist regime are throwing political prisoners into death camps. When is the time to get ahead of ourselves if not now?

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Okay, yeah, but it's Iraq. Y'know. There's still countries that are worse than the US. Just a lot fewer of them.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 week ago

US leadership went to shit, but the society is comparatively healthy, they got used to be able to live freely, so there is hope they won't take being broken into what passes for civil society in eg. Russia, that's right.

[–] DarkDecay@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jesus now even Iran is trolling president. TRumps the laughing stock of the world

[–] MHLoppy@fedia.io 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sir/madam/other, I'm sorry to report that you have:

gotten the country wrong
deepthroated the onion (well, betoota)
used the Lord's name in vain

We've dispatched masked, unidentifiable law enforcement agents to your location to assist in your continued education. Do not resist.

[–] DarkDecay@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Oh shit. I've been had. It doesn't even seem abnormal in today's news cycle.

I'd better put my phone down and go outside for awhile lol