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New iPhone 15 Includes 12 Animal Sounds And Colorful Lever (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[-] aeronmelon@lemm.ee 33 points 1 year ago

The Tim Cook goes...

"Good moOOorning!"

[-] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

The Steve jobs goes "fuck the newton"

[-] eltimablo@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Ironically, the ARM chip in the iPhone only exists because Apple tried to make the Newton.

[-] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 year ago

I bet the 16 will have TWO levers!

[-] ares35@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

ima gonna wait for the Gillette model.

[-] HenriHenr@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago

*Only the pro version

[-] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Well sure, but what kind of poverty-stricken commoner can't afford the pro version?

[-] ThrowawayInTheYear23@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Mooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[-] MooseBoys@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I came pretty close to eating the onion on this one.

[-] Francis_Fujiwara@sh.itjust.works -5 points 1 year ago

You really have to be a normie to buy an iPhone...

[-] MooseBoys@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

If by “normie” you mean “normal person” then sure, I guess…

[-] Zink@programming.dev -3 points 1 year ago

Nah, you just have to want to treat your phone as an appliance rather than yet another computer to fuck around with.

…and it helps when the friends & family around you are normies overwhelmingly using Apple devices, lol.

[+] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com -10 points 1 year ago

I have five PCs, two RPis, some laptops, gigabit, multiple switches running shit all across my house…

Or a phone, I want something I touch and it work good. I don’t want to have to fuck with it, I don’t want to have to get new ones often (this one is five years old) and I don’t use Google anything (privacy.)

I don’t have any other choice. Also iOS is dope.

[-] Bipta@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago

Downvoted specifically for "I don't have any other choice."

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com -2 points 1 year ago

Oh no not the downvotes!

What’s my other fucking choice then?

[-] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Whale ink, goat feather and rice paper

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Rice doesn’t have paper.

[-] RogueBanana@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 year ago

Ah yes, degoogling for privacy by using apple product

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 year ago

Out of any company out there, Apple is the least shitty for privacy.

[-] railsdev@programming.dev 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I know this comment is old but can you elaborate on this? I always see the sentiment around Reddit/Lemmy but so far I haven’t seen anything bad other than the CSAM scandal.

The only thing that comes to mind is app telemetry, but that’s easily disabled. Personally, I have macOS show me crash logs so that I review them then decide if I indeed want the developer to have the report.

Reviewing DNS queries (I’m big on blocking ads/tracking via my DNS over TLS server) I see tons of requests for Google services coming from apps, so I’ve blocked every in-app tracker I can find.

[-] railsdev@programming.dev 2 points 11 months ago

100% on the same page as you; I’m also a web developer and heavily rely on Linux/UNIX but iOS is FeR toDdlErS.

Yeah, sorry I want my shit to fucking work

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 11 months ago

Thank ya! I heavily appreciate the 0 minutes of maintenance I do on iOS. I’m not a fan of iTunes but fucking full-ass encrypted incremental backups whenever I’m home? That’s pretty awesome.

Oh it’s been five years and I finally would like a new one? Ooo backup restored it’s the SAME EXPERIENCE I had before.

Never deleted a text since 2013? That’s fine, iOS doesn’t give a fuck.

20k pics and videos? Sounds good to me! I’ll run like normal.

Phone five years old? Guess I’ll run as fast as many new phones, oh and you’re up to date on security updates.

They ARE spendy phones, but they’re also insanely high end and last soooo long. Then the whole privacy thing.

I had the first Android phone, the G1. Then I got the G2. Then after playing with my partner’s iPhone for ten minutes after they got it, realizing the on-screen keyboard actually WORKED, and just how smooth everything was… made the switch the next day. Never going back (also can’t, if I don’t use google stuff anymore)

this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2023

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