Shaka, when the walls fell

If we are together one of us will use the phrase "Is there Lemon in this?" And hold up our drink which is code for get me out if this conversation/situation.

If we aren't in the same room. We pull out our phone and text Save Me. Then the other person comes and finds you to say that So and So needs them immediately. Yadda, yadda.

My wife knows that if I say "Honey, I need to do that thing with my butt" she knows I have to poop, with everyone else listening blissfully unaware.

"Paying bills" == having sex

None. My wife doesn't know about tact, or the polite white lie or anything like that. She doesn't have time for that bullshit. It's one of her endearing qualities.

Sign Language works pretty well.

We picked it up when my daughter was younger and we just kept going. Now we use it to speak to each other from across the room during loud events.

My spouse and I lived in a bunch of countries over the years. We speak Quebec French, English, and Spanish, as well as a smattering of Chinese, Bulgarian, Korean, and a few odds and ends here and there.

We basically speak whatever we think people around us won't understand. Very colloquial Quebec French in non-French-speaking countries, Chinese around white people, Bulgarian around non-white people, or even a cryptic mix of everything when we're not completely sure.

We figure anyone who understands is probably someone we want to know... Hasn't happened very often, but it does happen. So far we weren't saying anything overly embarrassing when we got caught, but we sure as hell have no filter between us because of this!

“Do we have any pineapple at home?” is our safe word for social situations when one of us needs a reason to leave a situation or change the conversation because they’re uncomfortable. I detest pineapple.

When my wife can't remember someone's name, she'll grab my hand and squeeze it with two quick squeezes "Help. Me.".

That's my cue to either work their name into a comment/question or, if I don't know them, introduce myself followed by a "And you are..?". Works pretty well all of the time.

Of course, being together so long, and loving to fuck with each other's heads when we can, sometimes I'll just stand there and give them my best Aussie "owzitgoin?", and watch my wife squirm. That's usually when the nails dig into my hand, hoping to draw blood.

Worth it.

Dinosaur noises, typically when we're trying to find each other.

Pig Latin. Kids haven’t figured it out yet. One can spell so that went out the window.

Next stop is probably Morse code.

Movie quotes. It's amazing how many questioning looks we get from other people when quoting movies to each other.

Ha! Our trick is that we're never with company. We are very boring homebodies.

Instead of spelling it out or code, my wife and I will use increasingly obscure synonyms to hide our conversations from the kids.

They figured out "frozen confection" meant ice cream, so I need a new one.

We never use each other's first names in normal conversation. If one of us were to address the other with our actual name it would immediately set off an internal alarm.

A “look” is usually enough to let each other know something is up.
We haven’t really figured out how to communicate what that “something” is though and always end up more confused than informed.

Married 30 years. Eyebrow position and, "eh?"

"Eh."

And we are pretty much on the same page.

If I tell my partner that something drains the color out of a room, she knows that whomever I'm talking to is a bigot/phobe and we leave. More often than not though, she'll ask me who it is and tell them off.

Nice try. It's secret.

Korean

Around the kids, when they were young, we used French for those things we didn't want them to know about. She's fluent and I don't really speak it at all, but took it back in High School and remembered enough vocabulary to make it work.

Today, both our boys have taken years of Spanish and they speak in Spanish for those things that they don't want us to know. LOL

Around other adults, my wife and I have a system of looks that we give each other. We can have an entire conversation just by giving each other looks.

Might just be cus we're both neurodivergent, but we have a lot of non verbal cues, though he's nowhere near as showy as I am.

Whenever I end up overstimmed and go non-verbal, I tug at his shirt gently, or paw at him. From then it's simple ASL. For him, he genuinely just has simple phrasing or wordings that are kind of "key words" between us. The both of us are high functioning in our 20s, this is just kind of how it ended up and we're both super not subtle about it. It's great.

Edit: we literally do pigeon noises at each other at random. One of us says coo and the other goes roo. It's literally just a "thing" between us and it started because of us watching pigeons together and it stuck.

Any fizzy lemon & lime drink is now Sauvignon.

This stems from a meal nearly 20 years ago where she asked for "Sprite or 7-Up" and was given a large glass of Sauvignon Blanc by a slightly hard of hearing waitress.

Sometimes Irish.

Most people around us usually get it so isn't really a "secret" language, but my wife and I are big Simpsons fans so we talk in quotes all the time.

One that gets a lot of play is "I'm going... to... stalk... Lenny and Carl" for when we're going somewhere but really sure what we're going to do

I just text; don't have to worry about someone else picking it up.

Ready to go home?

Steve is just a jackoff today. Right?

Yep. 😘 fuck him. Let's go home.

Spanish