doomer

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What is Doomer? :(

It is a nebulous thing that may include but is not limited to Climate Change posts or Collapse posts.

Include sources when applicable for doomer posts, consider checking out !bloomer@www.hexbear.net once in awhile.

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I had gotten over my fear of death, accepted my mortality. Until I realized I was trans. [CW dysphoria] (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 weeks ago by BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net to c/doomer@hexbear.net

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Posting here instead of c/traaaans because of how depressing it is.

I deconverted a while ago, yea. And part of that was letting go of the idea of anything else after this. It took a while but I was more or less fine with it, idk. But then I realized I'm trans. I have realized how much pain my body causes me. And a lot of things just aren't fixable. Its shit and going to be shit. My body doesnt match what it is supposed to be. My voice. Obviously being treated like shit. And that's just it. My life forever. Forever tormented by all the things that cause me dysphoria I can't change. And then I die and I'm gone. I've been struggling with this for a year+ at this point. I distinctly remember some very nice people, mostly early on in this, tell me I was grieving and would eventually accept it. But I haven't. I can't. I don't even think its better. My one life I was born wrong and will suffer for all of it because of that. I can't move to acceptance. My whole life, body, all of it is wrong and cant be fixed and then I'll die and thats it.

Deliberately very light on specific dysphorias because I fear people will invalidate me.

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[–] juniper@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It upsets me to see you in so much pain Eggnog. I wish I could help but as a fellow depressed person I know words at this stage are only fuel for the resentment and anger.

All I can say is I see you and, for this humble juniper, your continued existence gives me hope and strength. Stay bountiful sister cuddle

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Thank you for the kind words :cuddle: I really appreciate it. I know I shouldn't really expect people to say anything but it does make me feel better when someone does.

[–] juniper@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago

I know I shouldn't really expect people to say anything but it does make me feel better when someone does.

I'm exactly the same way, and so I figured reaching across the abyss was the least I could do. Care-Comrade

[–] vovchik_ilich@hexbear.net 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I don't know you, but I recall your username because I like your comments on the bear site. Good luck, sending lots of hugs your way