this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2026
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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For posting satire from The Onion and other similar sources.

redundancy, but not for its own sake


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[–] BarbedDentalFloss@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Best I can do is drink a smoothie made from frozen berries because nothing is really in season right now

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You just gotta work it. Treat that straw in ways that would make your parents ashamed of you.

By the time I'm done with that smoothie they'll wish they sent me to conversion camp

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Gets immediate brain freeze from snorting a smoothie

[–] reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 month ago

Have you tried sprinkling some nutmeg in it? Game changer

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I tongue fucked an olive earlier, does that count?

[–] plm00@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 month ago

Botanically yes. Culinarily no.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Practice makes perfect! Mlemlemlemlem 👅🫒

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Given the state of the government and the US CDC, I’ve been eating so many onions, I have an ulcer now.

[–] e0qdk@reddthat.com 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

...battered and fried in beef tallow? :p

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Hey, I was already sensually eating junk food.

Seriously, though, I would not put it past this CDC to try to sell me some bullshit woo about how activating endorphins whilst eating fruit unlocks some quantum vitamins or something.

Am I crazy or does that sound within the realm of possibility for them?

[–] e0qdk@reddthat.com 4 points 1 month ago

I don't know if they'd say that specifically -- but you're not alone in having trouble telling real announcements from satire!

[–] Mrselfdestruct25@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 month ago

You should see me eat a banana.